Mike, you're much too kind. I do NOT consider my fan's experience of mixed and fluctuating emotions over Nicky's passing unique though. We have ALL felt a loss. We've all felt sorrow, anger, and the rest of it. There have been some moving reactions I have seen and read, some of the messages I've got from people privately have been humbling, showing just how much so many were affected. some of our reflections have moved me to tears as I'm sure most of us reading this have had their moment. I'll share this one with you, knowing him I don't think he will mind anyway, I got a text from a friend that said, "Nicky and his dad inspired me to believe during my darkest moments there was light at the end of the tunnel." I was privy to his ordeal, it put my own emotions in perspective. I think we all in particular grieve for Nicky's family and fiancé. I'll admit I've lost my composure, I have experienced various emotions just like anybody else here too, but I am cognizant of the fact I was just a fan. Many tributes confirmed that many people felt the same gratefulness and privilege.
As I said, being able to access the forum at the touch of a handheld device is often a curse. A flaw that I had managed to mitigate in the last year-ish, as I had purposely posted less and used my time more productively; old habits die hard. I post here for many reasons, not the least being to vent, moan, and whine; but also to express my takes on the sport as I see it, right or wrong. In my defense, most of you I consider close friends, some of which I know intimately, people of like mind, even those I may disagree with regarding the sport; so staying away from PS knowing I can interact with y'all at a click is like crack to an addict. And I'll add, I feel Nicky got cheated in many ways, was taken for granted, and under-appreciated (yes, ok, I hear those telling me to buck up a sense of perspective). To those who disagree with my opinions, the good thing is so far the chickenshit invisible hand of forum censorship has only reared its ugly head on a few cowardly occasions. I don't mind my opinions being challenged, I suspect often people just roll their eyes at my posts and move along anyway, its not a bad strategy.