<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (SackWack @ Apr 18 2008, 04:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>Nothing for Estoril yet??
give him time.
give him time.
A Top Ten Guide...
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Rising Sun @ Apr 3 2008, 07:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>A Top Ten Guide to Jerez, Spain, 2008.
Bonus, bonus Melandri fact: those numbers don’t look so random now!
3. Stupidly, he then switched back to the look-at-me, look-at-me gold boots and helmet
2. James “Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo... .... off it’s James!” Toseland. When our JT (everyone loves him!)
The not so random number bit killed me!
(RisingSun, can your get in trouble for using poetic-enhancing drugs? What ever you’re on, the .... has got to be illegal even in Amsterdam.)
Bonus, bonus Melandri fact: those numbers don’t look so random now!
3. Stupidly, he then switched back to the look-at-me, look-at-me gold boots and helmet
2. James “Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo... .... off it’s James!” Toseland. When our JT (everyone loves him!)
The not so random number bit killed me!
(RisingSun, can your get in trouble for using poetic-enhancing drugs? What ever you’re on, the .... has got to be illegal even in Amsterdam.)
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A Top Ten Guide to Estoril, Portugal, 2008.
10. Colin Edwards. The ‘Texan Windjammer’ is back in town. Never doubted him for a minute, either. Legend. Miles better than Bayliss. On a bike that’s dominated qualifying, taken 3 poles, 5 podiums and a race win, Colin reached the rarified atmosphere (for him) of 4th place, after Dovi and Haydos both decided that an impromptu repeat performance of Colin’s Jerez brilliance was called for. [On competitive machinery he’s only bettered this result 8 times in 4+ seasons.] One thing, though, Col... (Can I call you Col, Col?) you need to work on that intense look you’ve got going on in the pits—it doesn’t quite give off an aura of ‘cold, calculating determination’ as much as a ‘this is my ... face’ vibe. Just saying...
9. Andrea Dovizioso. No poles, no wins, no podiums, not even a lousy front row start—are you even trying, Andy? I thought this was supposed to be easy... even that effeminate tossbag (no, not Vale, the other one; no, not Pedrosa, either; I’m talking about Lorenzo) has managed all of the above so far. And we all know that he only beat you in those 250cc championships because his bike was soooooo good, and yours stopped development when Honda withdrew from Grand Prix racing in the 1960s. Pull your finger out, son.
8. Anthony West and Randy de Puniet. In the contest for “most-likely-to-be-without-a-MotoGP-ride-in-2009” these guys are making the early running, which is the closest they’ll get to the sharp end of anything this year. Randy—that pre-season promise was just a French tease, right?—seems to be trying to out-crash Stoner and Checa combined over at LCR, while Westy picks up the ‘Guintoli award’ for Estoril—the only rider who finished who didn’t get a championship point; quite impressive, considering THREE out of 18 riders crashed during the race. Actually, considering he finished P16 at Qatar, perhaps it should be called the ‘Westy’?
7. James ‘Jim, Ji—look, it’s just James, ok?’ Toseland. Our man Toseland has been up against it so far this season. In Qatar he took a dog slow bike to a brilliant 6th, and then in Jerez, zombie James (as sick as a dog) rose from his death bed to snag another brilliant 6th. For Estoril he was back to fitness and had a shiny new go-fast engine at his disposal, not to mention a fat little contract extension. Result: a dog day ho hum 7th place. Meanwhile, his race-crap teammate gets 4th. What gives? Bit average that, from the '..... Tonk man.'
6. Nicky Hayden. The thought of passing Rossi and taking a podium in the process was too much for the ex-champ. Unable to contain his excitement—in fact, using two hands NOT to contain it—he lost control of his bike and crashed so spectacularly that Dorna didn’t even bother to show it. Three rounds in, and your defence of the #8 plate is looking shakier than last years’ title-defence debacle.
5. John Hopkins. Johnny Megabucks mon$tered his way to 5th place, the first non-Michelin/non-Yamaha finisher. Pre-Estoril, his most notable achievement since switching to Kawasaki had been enlarging his happy sacks three times their normal size in a pre-season testing crash. I’m sure his improved form and his team manager ‘floating’ the idea that Valentino Rossi might ride for Team Green in 2009 were just coincidences.
4. Casey Stoner. First, sneaky Loris tries to knick your grid position, then, Dorna sabotages your race with a dangling black box. It’s no wonder you found it so hard to ‘ride on time!’ [Okay, yeah, that was bad...] Anyway, I’m no physics expert but doesn’t forward progress mean that a new bike is better than an old one? Cheer up Casey, I’m sure with help from Biaggi you’ll be back to whining as a winner and not as a loser real soon now.
3. Valentino Rossi. Three races, two podiums and a mid-pack result: check. Fast, consistent, but never really looks like winning: check. No post-race tantrums, just a humbly-expressed work ethic and acceptance of sub-optimal set-up choices delivered in grammatically-dubious English: check. Oh. My. God. The Doctor has had a Nick Hayden make-over! I hear Uccio’s hard at work trying to master a Kentucky accent, too. I look forward to you cruising to your sixth premier class title in 2008, Valentino—taking victories only in Mugello and Assen.
2. There once was a sour little prick /
who, although often quite quick /
he never did smile or display any style /
O what a miserable prick!
Win, lose or draw, no one ever saw /
a happy moment from him or the Puig /
not even the hint of a smooch /
second in the race, but such an unhappy face /
O what a miserable prick!
1. Jorge Lorenzo. It seems that #48 is a Powerslide.net reader! After Jerez, I pointed out that Jorge ‘I-can’t-dance’ Lorenzo set his blisteringly fast pole time wearing go-fast red boots and helmet, but then idiotically switched to his look-at-me, look-at-me gold kit for the race, with a predictable drop in performance. Well, no such mistake this time! After letting his teammate lead a few laps for Fiat Yamaha PR purposes and fooling Pedrosa into thinking he’d actually really passed someone under brakes at the end of a straight, Lorenzo took charge, effortlessly notching up win #1 in MotoGP. Then we were treated to the lamest Lorenzoland cool-down lap celebration ever (which is saying something) and the revelation that Hayden isn’t the only one who loves a goofy dance on the podium.
In other news, a second edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” has been rushed into print, following the addition of a new chapter, entitled: “How I won me first MotoGP race, and 10 more reasons why Dani’s a .......”
Finally, a note about Dorna’s continuing quest for TV coverage excellence. In an effort to create more drama during the races—following on from success stories such as the 800cc formula and the new tyre regulations—Dorna insists on cutting away from the racing action to show the pensive faces of assorted hangers-on in the pits. For Rossi, of course, we have Uccio; Stoner has his missus; ditto Cappers and Hopper; Nicky has Earl ‘Lord o Lord-y Lord!’ Hayden; and now Lorenzo has some grizzled, tanned hedgehog (also known as Dani Amatriain). I know which group I’d prefer to watch... and with Shanghai supposedly being a ‘Bridgestone track’ (translation: Stoner won there last year, and Gibernau and Rossi had crap Michelins in 2005 and 2006) the chance of some three-way action (I love double entendres!) at the sharp end between Stoner, Capirossi and Hopkins could be coming to a TV screen near you.
10. Colin Edwards. The ‘Texan Windjammer’ is back in town. Never doubted him for a minute, either. Legend. Miles better than Bayliss. On a bike that’s dominated qualifying, taken 3 poles, 5 podiums and a race win, Colin reached the rarified atmosphere (for him) of 4th place, after Dovi and Haydos both decided that an impromptu repeat performance of Colin’s Jerez brilliance was called for. [On competitive machinery he’s only bettered this result 8 times in 4+ seasons.] One thing, though, Col... (Can I call you Col, Col?) you need to work on that intense look you’ve got going on in the pits—it doesn’t quite give off an aura of ‘cold, calculating determination’ as much as a ‘this is my ... face’ vibe. Just saying...
9. Andrea Dovizioso. No poles, no wins, no podiums, not even a lousy front row start—are you even trying, Andy? I thought this was supposed to be easy... even that effeminate tossbag (no, not Vale, the other one; no, not Pedrosa, either; I’m talking about Lorenzo) has managed all of the above so far. And we all know that he only beat you in those 250cc championships because his bike was soooooo good, and yours stopped development when Honda withdrew from Grand Prix racing in the 1960s. Pull your finger out, son.
8. Anthony West and Randy de Puniet. In the contest for “most-likely-to-be-without-a-MotoGP-ride-in-2009” these guys are making the early running, which is the closest they’ll get to the sharp end of anything this year. Randy—that pre-season promise was just a French tease, right?—seems to be trying to out-crash Stoner and Checa combined over at LCR, while Westy picks up the ‘Guintoli award’ for Estoril—the only rider who finished who didn’t get a championship point; quite impressive, considering THREE out of 18 riders crashed during the race. Actually, considering he finished P16 at Qatar, perhaps it should be called the ‘Westy’?
7. James ‘Jim, Ji—look, it’s just James, ok?’ Toseland. Our man Toseland has been up against it so far this season. In Qatar he took a dog slow bike to a brilliant 6th, and then in Jerez, zombie James (as sick as a dog) rose from his death bed to snag another brilliant 6th. For Estoril he was back to fitness and had a shiny new go-fast engine at his disposal, not to mention a fat little contract extension. Result: a dog day ho hum 7th place. Meanwhile, his race-crap teammate gets 4th. What gives? Bit average that, from the '..... Tonk man.'
6. Nicky Hayden. The thought of passing Rossi and taking a podium in the process was too much for the ex-champ. Unable to contain his excitement—in fact, using two hands NOT to contain it—he lost control of his bike and crashed so spectacularly that Dorna didn’t even bother to show it. Three rounds in, and your defence of the #8 plate is looking shakier than last years’ title-defence debacle.
5. John Hopkins. Johnny Megabucks mon$tered his way to 5th place, the first non-Michelin/non-Yamaha finisher. Pre-Estoril, his most notable achievement since switching to Kawasaki had been enlarging his happy sacks three times their normal size in a pre-season testing crash. I’m sure his improved form and his team manager ‘floating’ the idea that Valentino Rossi might ride for Team Green in 2009 were just coincidences.
4. Casey Stoner. First, sneaky Loris tries to knick your grid position, then, Dorna sabotages your race with a dangling black box. It’s no wonder you found it so hard to ‘ride on time!’ [Okay, yeah, that was bad...] Anyway, I’m no physics expert but doesn’t forward progress mean that a new bike is better than an old one? Cheer up Casey, I’m sure with help from Biaggi you’ll be back to whining as a winner and not as a loser real soon now.
3. Valentino Rossi. Three races, two podiums and a mid-pack result: check. Fast, consistent, but never really looks like winning: check. No post-race tantrums, just a humbly-expressed work ethic and acceptance of sub-optimal set-up choices delivered in grammatically-dubious English: check. Oh. My. God. The Doctor has had a Nick Hayden make-over! I hear Uccio’s hard at work trying to master a Kentucky accent, too. I look forward to you cruising to your sixth premier class title in 2008, Valentino—taking victories only in Mugello and Assen.
2. There once was a sour little prick /
who, although often quite quick /
he never did smile or display any style /
O what a miserable prick!
Win, lose or draw, no one ever saw /
a happy moment from him or the Puig /
not even the hint of a smooch /
second in the race, but such an unhappy face /
O what a miserable prick!
1. Jorge Lorenzo. It seems that #48 is a Powerslide.net reader! After Jerez, I pointed out that Jorge ‘I-can’t-dance’ Lorenzo set his blisteringly fast pole time wearing go-fast red boots and helmet, but then idiotically switched to his look-at-me, look-at-me gold kit for the race, with a predictable drop in performance. Well, no such mistake this time! After letting his teammate lead a few laps for Fiat Yamaha PR purposes and fooling Pedrosa into thinking he’d actually really passed someone under brakes at the end of a straight, Lorenzo took charge, effortlessly notching up win #1 in MotoGP. Then we were treated to the lamest Lorenzoland cool-down lap celebration ever (which is saying something) and the revelation that Hayden isn’t the only one who loves a goofy dance on the podium.
In other news, a second edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” has been rushed into print, following the addition of a new chapter, entitled: “How I won me first MotoGP race, and 10 more reasons why Dani’s a .......”
Finally, a note about Dorna’s continuing quest for TV coverage excellence. In an effort to create more drama during the races—following on from success stories such as the 800cc formula and the new tyre regulations—Dorna insists on cutting away from the racing action to show the pensive faces of assorted hangers-on in the pits. For Rossi, of course, we have Uccio; Stoner has his missus; ditto Cappers and Hopper; Nicky has Earl ‘Lord o Lord-y Lord!’ Hayden; and now Lorenzo has some grizzled, tanned hedgehog (also known as Dani Amatriain). I know which group I’d prefer to watch... and with Shanghai supposedly being a ‘Bridgestone track’ (translation: Stoner won there last year, and Gibernau and Rossi had crap Michelins in 2005 and 2006) the chance of some three-way action (I love double entendres!) at the sharp end between Stoner, Capirossi and Hopkins could be coming to a TV screen near you.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Rising Sun @ Apr 19 2008, 05:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>In other news, a second edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” has been rushed into print, following the addition of a new chapter, entitled: “How I won me first MotoGP race, and 10 more reasons why Dani’s a .......”
OMG - You're a ....... GENIUS!!! I don't say that lightly - anyone who has an ounce of wit will understand how insightful you are! I'm now offically awarding you the "ROS powerslide.net" lifetime achievement award for outstanding service toward motoGP journalism.
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- 3,075
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- Living the dream in Scotland
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Rising Sun @ Apr 19 2008, 05:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>A Top Ten Guide to Estoril, Portugal, 2008.
10. Colin Edwards. The ‘Texan Windjammer’ is back in town. Never doubted him for a minute, either. Legend. Miles better than Bayliss. On a bike that’s dominated qualifying, taken 3 poles, 5 podiums and a race win, Colin reached the rarified atmosphere (for him) of 4th place, after Dovi and Haydos both decided that an impromptu repeat performance of Colin’s Jerez brilliance was called for. [On competitive machinery he’s only bettered this result 8 times in 4+ seasons.] One thing, though, Col... (Can I call you Col, Col?) you need to work on that intense look you’ve got going on in the pits—it doesn’t quite give off an aura of ‘cold, calculating determination’ as much as a ‘this is my ... face’ vibe. Just saying...
9. Andrea Dovizioso. No poles, no wins, no podiums, not even a lousy front row start—are you even trying, Andy? I thought this was supposed to be easy... even that effeminate tossbag (no, not Vale, the other one; no, not Pedrosa, either; I’m talking about Lorenzo) has managed all of the above so far. And we all know that he only beat you in those 250cc championships because his bike was soooooo good, and yours stopped development when Honda withdrew from Grand Prix racing in the 1960s. Pull your finger out, son.
8. Anthony West and Randy de Puniet. In the contest for “most-likely-to-be-without-a-MotoGP-ride-in-2009” these guys are making the early running, which is the closest they’ll get to the sharp end of anything this year. Randy—that pre-season promise was just a French tease, right?—seems to be trying to out-crash Stoner and Checa combined over at LCR, while Westy picks up the ‘Guintoli award’ for Estoril—the only rider who finished who didn’t get a championship point; quite impressive, considering THREE out of 18 riders crashed during the race. Actually, considering he finished P16 at Qatar, perhaps it should be called the ‘Westy’?
7. James ‘Jim, Ji—look, it’s just James, ok?’ Toseland. Our man Toseland has been up against it so far this season. In Qatar he took a dog slow bike to a brilliant 6th, and then in Jerez, zombie James (as sick as a dog) rose from his death bed to snag another brilliant 6th. For Estoril he was back to fitness and had a shiny new go-fast engine at his disposal, not to mention a fat little contract extension. Result: a dog day ho hum 7th place. Meanwhile, his race-crap teammate gets 4th. What gives? Bit average that, from the '..... Tonk man.'
6. Nicky Hayden. The thought of passing Rossi and taking a podium in the process was too much for the ex-champ. Unable to contain his excitement—in fact, using two hands NOT to contain it—he lost control of his bike and crashed so spectacularly that Dorna didn’t even bother to show it. Three rounds in, and your defence of the #8 plate is looking shakier than last years’ title-defence debacle.
5. John Hopkins. Johnny Megabucks mon$tered his way to 5th place, the first non-Michelin/non-Yamaha finisher. Pre-Estoril, his most notable achievement since switching to Kawasaki had been enlarging his happy sacks three times their normal size in a pre-season testing crash. I’m sure his improved form and his team manager ‘floating’ the idea that Valentino Rossi might ride for Team Green in 2009 were just coincidences.
4. Casey Stoner. First, sneaky Loris tries to knick your grid position, then, Dorna sabotages your race with a dangling black box. It’s no wonder you found it so hard to ‘ride on time!’ [Okay, yeah, that was bad...] Anyway, I’m no physics expert but doesn’t forward progress mean that a new bike is better than an old one? Cheer up Casey, I’m sure with help from Biaggi you’ll be back to whining as a winner and not as a loser real soon now.
3. Valentino Rossi. Three races, two podiums and a mid-pack result: check. Fast, consistent, but never really looks like winning: check. No post-race tantrums, just a humbly-expressed work ethic and acceptance of sub-optimal set-up choices delivered in grammatically-dubious English: check. Oh. My. God. The Doctor has had a Nick Hayden make-over! I hear Uccio’s hard at work trying to master a Kentucky accent, too. I look forward to you cruising to your sixth premier class title in 2008, Valentino—taking victories only in Mugello and Assen.
2. There once was a sour little prick /
who, although often quite quick /
he never did smile or display any style /
O what a miserable prick!
Win, lose or draw, no one ever saw /
a happy moment from him or the Puig /
not even the hint of a smooch /
second in the race, but such an unhappy face /
O what a miserable prick!
1. Jorge Lorenzo. It seems that #48 is a Powerslide.net reader! After Jerez, I pointed out that Jorge ‘I-can’t-dance’ Lorenzo set his blisteringly fast pole time wearing go-fast red boots and helmet, but then idiotically switched to his look-at-me, look-at-me gold kit for the race, with a predictable drop in performance. Well, no such mistake this time! After letting his teammate lead a few laps for Fiat Yamaha PR purposes and fooling Pedrosa into thinking he’d actually really passed someone under brakes at the end of a straight, Lorenzo took charge, effortlessly notching up win #1 in MotoGP. Then we were treated to the lamest Lorenzoland cool-down lap celebration ever (which is saying something) and the revelation that Hayden isn’t the only one who loves a goofy dance on the podium.
In other news, a second edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” has been rushed into print, following the addition of a new chapter, entitled: “How I won me first MotoGP race, and 10 more reasons why Dani’s a .......”
Finally, a note about Dorna’s continuing quest for TV coverage excellence. In an effort to create more drama during the races—following on from success stories such as the 800cc formula and the new tyre regulations—Dorna insists on cutting away from the racing action to show the pensive faces of assorted hangers-on in the pits. For Rossi, of course, we have Uccio; Stoner has his missus; ditto Cappers and Hopper; Nicky has Earl ‘Lord o Lord-y Lord!’ Hayden; and now Lorenzo has some grizzled, tanned hedgehog (also known as Dani Amatriain). I know which group I’d prefer to watch... and with Shanghai supposedly being a ‘Bridgestone track’ (translation: Stoner won there last year, and Gibernau and Rossi had crap Michelins in 2005 and 2006) the chance of some three-way action (I love double entendres!) at the sharp end between Stoner, Capirossi and Hopkins could be coming to a TV screen near you.
This has to be the best yet Rising Son, fackin awesome!
Pete
10. Colin Edwards. The ‘Texan Windjammer’ is back in town. Never doubted him for a minute, either. Legend. Miles better than Bayliss. On a bike that’s dominated qualifying, taken 3 poles, 5 podiums and a race win, Colin reached the rarified atmosphere (for him) of 4th place, after Dovi and Haydos both decided that an impromptu repeat performance of Colin’s Jerez brilliance was called for. [On competitive machinery he’s only bettered this result 8 times in 4+ seasons.] One thing, though, Col... (Can I call you Col, Col?) you need to work on that intense look you’ve got going on in the pits—it doesn’t quite give off an aura of ‘cold, calculating determination’ as much as a ‘this is my ... face’ vibe. Just saying...
9. Andrea Dovizioso. No poles, no wins, no podiums, not even a lousy front row start—are you even trying, Andy? I thought this was supposed to be easy... even that effeminate tossbag (no, not Vale, the other one; no, not Pedrosa, either; I’m talking about Lorenzo) has managed all of the above so far. And we all know that he only beat you in those 250cc championships because his bike was soooooo good, and yours stopped development when Honda withdrew from Grand Prix racing in the 1960s. Pull your finger out, son.
8. Anthony West and Randy de Puniet. In the contest for “most-likely-to-be-without-a-MotoGP-ride-in-2009” these guys are making the early running, which is the closest they’ll get to the sharp end of anything this year. Randy—that pre-season promise was just a French tease, right?—seems to be trying to out-crash Stoner and Checa combined over at LCR, while Westy picks up the ‘Guintoli award’ for Estoril—the only rider who finished who didn’t get a championship point; quite impressive, considering THREE out of 18 riders crashed during the race. Actually, considering he finished P16 at Qatar, perhaps it should be called the ‘Westy’?
7. James ‘Jim, Ji—look, it’s just James, ok?’ Toseland. Our man Toseland has been up against it so far this season. In Qatar he took a dog slow bike to a brilliant 6th, and then in Jerez, zombie James (as sick as a dog) rose from his death bed to snag another brilliant 6th. For Estoril he was back to fitness and had a shiny new go-fast engine at his disposal, not to mention a fat little contract extension. Result: a dog day ho hum 7th place. Meanwhile, his race-crap teammate gets 4th. What gives? Bit average that, from the '..... Tonk man.'
6. Nicky Hayden. The thought of passing Rossi and taking a podium in the process was too much for the ex-champ. Unable to contain his excitement—in fact, using two hands NOT to contain it—he lost control of his bike and crashed so spectacularly that Dorna didn’t even bother to show it. Three rounds in, and your defence of the #8 plate is looking shakier than last years’ title-defence debacle.
5. John Hopkins. Johnny Megabucks mon$tered his way to 5th place, the first non-Michelin/non-Yamaha finisher. Pre-Estoril, his most notable achievement since switching to Kawasaki had been enlarging his happy sacks three times their normal size in a pre-season testing crash. I’m sure his improved form and his team manager ‘floating’ the idea that Valentino Rossi might ride for Team Green in 2009 were just coincidences.
4. Casey Stoner. First, sneaky Loris tries to knick your grid position, then, Dorna sabotages your race with a dangling black box. It’s no wonder you found it so hard to ‘ride on time!’ [Okay, yeah, that was bad...] Anyway, I’m no physics expert but doesn’t forward progress mean that a new bike is better than an old one? Cheer up Casey, I’m sure with help from Biaggi you’ll be back to whining as a winner and not as a loser real soon now.
3. Valentino Rossi. Three races, two podiums and a mid-pack result: check. Fast, consistent, but never really looks like winning: check. No post-race tantrums, just a humbly-expressed work ethic and acceptance of sub-optimal set-up choices delivered in grammatically-dubious English: check. Oh. My. God. The Doctor has had a Nick Hayden make-over! I hear Uccio’s hard at work trying to master a Kentucky accent, too. I look forward to you cruising to your sixth premier class title in 2008, Valentino—taking victories only in Mugello and Assen.
2. There once was a sour little prick /
who, although often quite quick /
he never did smile or display any style /
O what a miserable prick!
Win, lose or draw, no one ever saw /
a happy moment from him or the Puig /
not even the hint of a smooch /
second in the race, but such an unhappy face /
O what a miserable prick!
1. Jorge Lorenzo. It seems that #48 is a Powerslide.net reader! After Jerez, I pointed out that Jorge ‘I-can’t-dance’ Lorenzo set his blisteringly fast pole time wearing go-fast red boots and helmet, but then idiotically switched to his look-at-me, look-at-me gold kit for the race, with a predictable drop in performance. Well, no such mistake this time! After letting his teammate lead a few laps for Fiat Yamaha PR purposes and fooling Pedrosa into thinking he’d actually really passed someone under brakes at the end of a straight, Lorenzo took charge, effortlessly notching up win #1 in MotoGP. Then we were treated to the lamest Lorenzoland cool-down lap celebration ever (which is saying something) and the revelation that Hayden isn’t the only one who loves a goofy dance on the podium.
In other news, a second edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” has been rushed into print, following the addition of a new chapter, entitled: “How I won me first MotoGP race, and 10 more reasons why Dani’s a .......”
Finally, a note about Dorna’s continuing quest for TV coverage excellence. In an effort to create more drama during the races—following on from success stories such as the 800cc formula and the new tyre regulations—Dorna insists on cutting away from the racing action to show the pensive faces of assorted hangers-on in the pits. For Rossi, of course, we have Uccio; Stoner has his missus; ditto Cappers and Hopper; Nicky has Earl ‘Lord o Lord-y Lord!’ Hayden; and now Lorenzo has some grizzled, tanned hedgehog (also known as Dani Amatriain). I know which group I’d prefer to watch... and with Shanghai supposedly being a ‘Bridgestone track’ (translation: Stoner won there last year, and Gibernau and Rossi had crap Michelins in 2005 and 2006) the chance of some three-way action (I love double entendres!) at the sharp end between Stoner, Capirossi and Hopkins could be coming to a TV screen near you.
This has to be the best yet Rising Son, fackin awesome!
Pete
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2006
- Messages
- 445
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Cheers everyone, glad to know that you're enjoying them!
@ Jumkie
Poetic-enhancing drugs? Heh. Seriously, the Top Ten isn't hard to write. MotoGP provides the drama (and the drama queens) and I just fill in the dots! Besides, I write them on Fridays at work... I think my co-workers might notice if I was under the influence. Although, I'm not saying no to the idea of trying them! [As long as I don't end up like Burky after a battle with Tequila...
]
@ Jumkie/Bass Pete
It seems great minds think alike; you two were also joking about Rossi doing a Hayden this year. Heh, imagine if it actually happened!
@ Jumkie
Poetic-enhancing drugs? Heh. Seriously, the Top Ten isn't hard to write. MotoGP provides the drama (and the drama queens) and I just fill in the dots! Besides, I write them on Fridays at work... I think my co-workers might notice if I was under the influence. Although, I'm not saying no to the idea of trying them! [As long as I don't end up like Burky after a battle with Tequila...
@ Jumkie/Bass Pete
It seems great minds think alike; you two were also joking about Rossi doing a Hayden this year. Heh, imagine if it actually happened!
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2006
- Messages
- 24,726
- Location
- Your Mom's House
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Rising Sun @ Apr 19 2008, 09:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>A Top Ten Guide to Estoril, Portugal, 2008.
(Can I call you Col, Col?) you need to work on that intense look you’ve got going on in the pits—it doesn’t quite give off an aura of ‘cold, calculating determination’ as much as a ‘this is my ... face’ vibe. Just saying...
9. Andrea Dovizioso. I thought this was supposed to be easy...
8. Anthony West and Randy de Puniet. In the contest for “most-likely-to-be-without-a-MotoGP-ride-in-2009”
6. Nicky Hayden. crashed so spectacularly that Dorna didn’t even bother to show it. Three rounds in, and your defence of the #8 plate
5. John Hopkins. his most notable achievement since switching to Kawasaki had been enlarging his happy sacks three times their normal size in a pre-season testing crash.
4. Casey Stoner. First, sneaky Loris tries to knick your grid position, then, Dorna sabotages your race with a dangling black box. ...I’m sure with help from Biaggi you’ll be back to whining as a winner and not as a loser real soon now.
3. Valentino Rossi. delivered in grammatically-dubious English: check. Oh. My. God. The Doctor has had a Nick Hayden make-over! I hear Uccio’s hard at work trying to master a Kentucky accent, too.
2. There once was a sour little prick /
who, although often quite quick /
he never did smile or display any style /
O what a miserable prick!
Win, lose or draw, no one ever saw /
a happy moment from him or the Puig /
not even the hint of a smooch /
second in the race, but such an unhappy face /
O what a miserable prick!
1. Jorge Lorenzo. It seems that #48 is a Powerslide.net reader! After Jerez, I pointed out that Jorge ‘I-can’t-dance’ ... fooling Pedrosa into thinking he’d actually really passed someone under brakes at the end of a straight,... lamest Lorenzoland cool-down lap celebration ever (which is saying something) and the revelation that Hayden isn’t the only one who loves a goofy dance on the podium.
In other news, a second edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?”
Hahaha. Instant classic. These had me rolling!
(Can I call you Col, Col?) you need to work on that intense look you’ve got going on in the pits—it doesn’t quite give off an aura of ‘cold, calculating determination’ as much as a ‘this is my ... face’ vibe. Just saying...
9. Andrea Dovizioso. I thought this was supposed to be easy...
8. Anthony West and Randy de Puniet. In the contest for “most-likely-to-be-without-a-MotoGP-ride-in-2009”
6. Nicky Hayden. crashed so spectacularly that Dorna didn’t even bother to show it. Three rounds in, and your defence of the #8 plate
5. John Hopkins. his most notable achievement since switching to Kawasaki had been enlarging his happy sacks three times their normal size in a pre-season testing crash.
4. Casey Stoner. First, sneaky Loris tries to knick your grid position, then, Dorna sabotages your race with a dangling black box. ...I’m sure with help from Biaggi you’ll be back to whining as a winner and not as a loser real soon now.
3. Valentino Rossi. delivered in grammatically-dubious English: check. Oh. My. God. The Doctor has had a Nick Hayden make-over! I hear Uccio’s hard at work trying to master a Kentucky accent, too.
2. There once was a sour little prick /
who, although often quite quick /
he never did smile or display any style /
O what a miserable prick!
Win, lose or draw, no one ever saw /
a happy moment from him or the Puig /
not even the hint of a smooch /
second in the race, but such an unhappy face /
O what a miserable prick!
1. Jorge Lorenzo. It seems that #48 is a Powerslide.net reader! After Jerez, I pointed out that Jorge ‘I-can’t-dance’ ... fooling Pedrosa into thinking he’d actually really passed someone under brakes at the end of a straight,... lamest Lorenzoland cool-down lap celebration ever (which is saying something) and the revelation that Hayden isn’t the only one who loves a goofy dance on the podium.
In other news, a second edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?”
Hahaha. Instant classic. These had me rolling!
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2006
- Messages
- 445
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
A Top Ten Guide to Shanghai, China, 2008.
10. Colin Edwards. The Texan ‘Helium Balloon’ has done it again. Congratulations, Col, on the 3rd pole position of your career (all of them within the last 12 months, too!). You didn’t disappoint in the race, either, fading as expected to a typically useless 7th place. Nevertheless, Tech 3 are ecstatic, and want to keep you for another year. It’s good to see mediocrity rewarded.
9. Anthony West. How pissed did Westy look on the starting grid that it wasn’t pissing down? He looked unhappier than Pedrosa sharing a podium with Lorenzo. P18 in qualifying, and P17 in the race. Now we’re seeing what you can do—like Antfan predicted—with that full preseason under your belt. Just think, if Melandri does take your place at Kawasaki, you will be able to write another blog entry moaning about how Melandri’s career could (should) have been yours...
8. Andrea Dovizioso. The fastest Honda on the day finishes down in P11. Good job, Dovi. If the 800s were any easier to ride, you’d be finishing last. One thing though, you do realise that replacing Hayden in the factory Honda team doesn’t actually require you to put in Hayden-like performances, right?
7. Bizarre Love Triangle. While most people who saw vision of Lorenzo’s Friday practice—specifically, the moment when he embarked on a show of modern interpretive dance symbolising mans’ place in an increasingly mechanised world—were thinking: holy ....... ...., Batman! not everyone felt the same way. In the Team Fiat Yamaha pits, Uccio’s look of concern had nothing to do with Lorenzo’s wellbeing and everything to do with Rossi’s oh-so-effeminate clutching of a towel to his face. It’s long been known that Rossi has declared big hair passé, Nothing Compares 2U his favourite song, and that thin is in for 2008. Desperate to retain his status as #1 Rossi fluffer/fluffee, Uccio has sleeked down his own unruly mop top and even looks to have shed a few kilos. But as he watched Rossi bite into that towel (wishing it was a pillow?), Uccio must have been a very worried man...
6. Nicky Hayden. Didn’t you win a world championship a couple of years back? Aren’t you riding for the best factory team in the last 25 years of motorcycle Grand Prix racing? Isn’t your ‘teammate’ leading the world championship at the moment? Tinfoil hat conspiracies aside, it looks like you’re on the Alex Criville path to career oblivion.
5. Casey Stoner. Why do people hate you, jug ears? A bad tyre choice leaves you a distant 3rd at a race most pundits gave you a fair chance of winning, and everyone labels you an utter disappointment. Yet the exact same scenario at Estoril results in teflon-Rossi walking away unscathed. Perhaps you need to start giving interviews to the Spanish press, talking about how winning lets you be the Casey Stoner you want to be.
4. Chris Vermeulen. The ‘Ben-Spies-for-God’ zealots are circling, Capirossi is making you look average, you’re still wearing a stupid hat that even the fashion-challenged duo of Hopkins and Hayden wouldn’t touch, your mole looks like it’s getting bigger, and your bike is a heap of ..... Do you still have Ronald Ten Kate’s phone number? It’s always better to jump than be pushed—you can control your landing so much the better.
3. Valentino Rossi. Notice how there hasn’t been a vintage-Rossi victory lap celebration stunt since Jerez 2007 (which itself was clearly leftover from Valencia 2006). Is that because—with his much publicized tax dodging... ahem, tax problems—Rossi can’t afford to fly his fan club to all the races, or is it because he’s no longer so confident of winning? You’d have to say the latter, judging from the stunned expression on Rossi’s face while he sat there on the fence, having taken a comfortable victory (#63, for those keeping count). It was as if he’d forgotten what it felt like to win (7 months since the last time) and it took a crushing embrace from a sweaty Italian man to bring him back to reality. Putting it in perspective, Rossi would probably rank this win around the mid-50s of his overall list, I’d imagine. Perspective’s a funny thing, though, isn’t it? If Hayden had taken the W, he would probably rank this win at least #4 on his overall list.
2. Dani Pedrosa. The ride of the weekend, in my opinion. On one of the slowest bikes in the field versus one of the fastest, and using Michelin tyres on a ‘Bridgestone track’ Peddles rode the wheels off of his Honda. He led for a bit in the early stages, carried so much corner speed to keep his lap times competitive and worked really hard to gain ground under braking (by Dani’s standards, at least). However, he couldn’t make a decisive move on that Bridgestone-shod rocket ahead of him. Hmmm... I just had the strangest case of déjà vu... is it 2007? Anyway, where was I? It was too bad that Pedrosa gave up faster than you can say ‘Alex Hoffman’ a few laps from the end and conceded victory to Rossi. Er, that is, he decided that taking a seven point lead in the championship was more important than proving he can win a race from behind in the premier class/actually beat Rossi the proper way.
1. Jorge Lorenzo. What can you say about George Lawrence (Nice one, Burky!) and his insatiable ego that hasn’t already been said? On a race weekend where he didn’t take pole, win the race or even podium, Lorenzo still managed to hog the spotlight. Ex-world champ, Nicky Hayden, also failed to pole, win or podium, and crashed in practice, too. As an exercise for the reader, I invite you to compare and contrast the amount of column inches each rider received.
Finally, in other news, a 3rd edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” is being prepared for publication. The wildly popular #1 bestseller (there’s no truth to the rumour that Dani Amatriain has bought every copy) will receive a new chapter. In a Powerslide.net exclusive, I have obtained the chapter outline:
- Overcoming adversity: how macho am I?
- Who knew that the graphics of MotoGP games were so realistic?
- 10 reasons why Dani (still a ......) Pedrosa would have totally
cried like a baby and stuff and not even raced, if he’d suffered a
crash even half as cool as mine was.
10. Colin Edwards. The Texan ‘Helium Balloon’ has done it again. Congratulations, Col, on the 3rd pole position of your career (all of them within the last 12 months, too!). You didn’t disappoint in the race, either, fading as expected to a typically useless 7th place. Nevertheless, Tech 3 are ecstatic, and want to keep you for another year. It’s good to see mediocrity rewarded.
9. Anthony West. How pissed did Westy look on the starting grid that it wasn’t pissing down? He looked unhappier than Pedrosa sharing a podium with Lorenzo. P18 in qualifying, and P17 in the race. Now we’re seeing what you can do—like Antfan predicted—with that full preseason under your belt. Just think, if Melandri does take your place at Kawasaki, you will be able to write another blog entry moaning about how Melandri’s career could (should) have been yours...
8. Andrea Dovizioso. The fastest Honda on the day finishes down in P11. Good job, Dovi. If the 800s were any easier to ride, you’d be finishing last. One thing though, you do realise that replacing Hayden in the factory Honda team doesn’t actually require you to put in Hayden-like performances, right?
7. Bizarre Love Triangle. While most people who saw vision of Lorenzo’s Friday practice—specifically, the moment when he embarked on a show of modern interpretive dance symbolising mans’ place in an increasingly mechanised world—were thinking: holy ....... ...., Batman! not everyone felt the same way. In the Team Fiat Yamaha pits, Uccio’s look of concern had nothing to do with Lorenzo’s wellbeing and everything to do with Rossi’s oh-so-effeminate clutching of a towel to his face. It’s long been known that Rossi has declared big hair passé, Nothing Compares 2U his favourite song, and that thin is in for 2008. Desperate to retain his status as #1 Rossi fluffer/fluffee, Uccio has sleeked down his own unruly mop top and even looks to have shed a few kilos. But as he watched Rossi bite into that towel (wishing it was a pillow?), Uccio must have been a very worried man...
6. Nicky Hayden. Didn’t you win a world championship a couple of years back? Aren’t you riding for the best factory team in the last 25 years of motorcycle Grand Prix racing? Isn’t your ‘teammate’ leading the world championship at the moment? Tinfoil hat conspiracies aside, it looks like you’re on the Alex Criville path to career oblivion.
5. Casey Stoner. Why do people hate you, jug ears? A bad tyre choice leaves you a distant 3rd at a race most pundits gave you a fair chance of winning, and everyone labels you an utter disappointment. Yet the exact same scenario at Estoril results in teflon-Rossi walking away unscathed. Perhaps you need to start giving interviews to the Spanish press, talking about how winning lets you be the Casey Stoner you want to be.
4. Chris Vermeulen. The ‘Ben-Spies-for-God’ zealots are circling, Capirossi is making you look average, you’re still wearing a stupid hat that even the fashion-challenged duo of Hopkins and Hayden wouldn’t touch, your mole looks like it’s getting bigger, and your bike is a heap of ..... Do you still have Ronald Ten Kate’s phone number? It’s always better to jump than be pushed—you can control your landing so much the better.
3. Valentino Rossi. Notice how there hasn’t been a vintage-Rossi victory lap celebration stunt since Jerez 2007 (which itself was clearly leftover from Valencia 2006). Is that because—with his much publicized tax dodging... ahem, tax problems—Rossi can’t afford to fly his fan club to all the races, or is it because he’s no longer so confident of winning? You’d have to say the latter, judging from the stunned expression on Rossi’s face while he sat there on the fence, having taken a comfortable victory (#63, for those keeping count). It was as if he’d forgotten what it felt like to win (7 months since the last time) and it took a crushing embrace from a sweaty Italian man to bring him back to reality. Putting it in perspective, Rossi would probably rank this win around the mid-50s of his overall list, I’d imagine. Perspective’s a funny thing, though, isn’t it? If Hayden had taken the W, he would probably rank this win at least #4 on his overall list.
2. Dani Pedrosa. The ride of the weekend, in my opinion. On one of the slowest bikes in the field versus one of the fastest, and using Michelin tyres on a ‘Bridgestone track’ Peddles rode the wheels off of his Honda. He led for a bit in the early stages, carried so much corner speed to keep his lap times competitive and worked really hard to gain ground under braking (by Dani’s standards, at least). However, he couldn’t make a decisive move on that Bridgestone-shod rocket ahead of him. Hmmm... I just had the strangest case of déjà vu... is it 2007? Anyway, where was I? It was too bad that Pedrosa gave up faster than you can say ‘Alex Hoffman’ a few laps from the end and conceded victory to Rossi. Er, that is, he decided that taking a seven point lead in the championship was more important than proving he can win a race from behind in the premier class/actually beat Rossi the proper way.
1. Jorge Lorenzo. What can you say about George Lawrence (Nice one, Burky!) and his insatiable ego that hasn’t already been said? On a race weekend where he didn’t take pole, win the race or even podium, Lorenzo still managed to hog the spotlight. Ex-world champ, Nicky Hayden, also failed to pole, win or podium, and crashed in practice, too. As an exercise for the reader, I invite you to compare and contrast the amount of column inches each rider received.
Finally, in other news, a 3rd edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” is being prepared for publication. The wildly popular #1 bestseller (there’s no truth to the rumour that Dani Amatriain has bought every copy) will receive a new chapter. In a Powerslide.net exclusive, I have obtained the chapter outline:
- Overcoming adversity: how macho am I?
- Who knew that the graphics of MotoGP games were so realistic?
- 10 reasons why Dani (still a ......) Pedrosa would have totally
cried like a baby and stuff and not even raced, if he’d suffered a
crash even half as cool as mine was.
somedamnwriter
Moderator
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2006
- Messages
- 5,306
- Location
- Philippines
i'm a total fan!
..though, okay...that bizarre love triangle was really disconcerting for me
..though, okay...that bizarre love triangle was really disconcerting for me
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Rising Sun @ May 10 2008, 12:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>A Top Ten Guide to Shanghai, China, 2008.
10. Colin Edwards. The Texan ‘Helium Balloon’ has done it again. Congratulations, Col, on the 3rd pole position of your career (all of them within the last 12 months, too!). You didn’t disappoint in the race, either, fading as expected to a typically useless 7th place. Nevertheless, Tech 3 are ecstatic, and want to keep you for another year. It’s good to see mediocrity rewarded.
9. Anthony West. How pissed did Westy look on the starting grid that it wasn’t pissing down? He looked unhappier than Pedrosa sharing a podium with Lorenzo. P18 in qualifying, and P17 in the race. Now we’re seeing what you can do—like Antfan predicted—with that full preseason under your belt. Just think, if Melandri does take your place at Kawasaki, you will be able to write another blog entry moaning about how Melandri’s career could (should) have been yours...
8. Andrea Dovizioso. The fastest Honda on the day finishes down in P11. Good job, Dovi. If the 800s were any easier to ride, you’d be finishing last. One thing though, you do realise that replacing Hayden in the factory Honda team doesn’t actually require you to put in Hayden-like performances, right?
7. Bizarre Love Triangle. While most people who saw vision of Lorenzo’s Friday practice—specifically, the moment when he embarked on a show of modern interpretive dance symbolising mans’ place in an increasingly mechanised world—were thinking: holy ....... ...., Batman! not everyone felt the same way. In the Team Fiat Yamaha pits, Uccio’s look of concern had nothing to do with Lorenzo’s wellbeing and everything to do with Rossi’s oh-so-effeminate clutching of a towel to his face. It’s long been known that Rossi has declared big hair passé, Nothing Compares 2U his favourite song, and that thin is in for 2008. Desperate to retain his status as #1 Rossi fluffer/fluffee, Uccio has sleeked down his own unruly mop top and even looks to have shed a few kilos. But as he watched Rossi bite into that towel (wishing it was a pillow?), Uccio must have been a very worried man...
6. Nicky Hayden. Didn’t you win a world championship a couple of years back? Aren’t you riding for the best factory team in the last 25 years of motorcycle Grand Prix racing? Isn’t your ‘teammate’ leading the world championship at the moment? Tinfoil hat conspiracies aside, it looks like you’re on the Alex Criville path to career oblivion.
5. Casey Stoner. Why do people hate you, jug ears? A bad tyre choice leaves you a distant 3rd at a race most pundits gave you a fair chance of winning, and everyone labels you an utter disappointment. Yet the exact same scenario at Estoril results in teflon-Rossi walking away unscathed. Perhaps you need to start giving interviews to the Spanish press, talking about how winning lets you be the Casey Stoner you want to be.
4. Chris Vermeulen. The ‘Ben-Spies-for-God’ zealots are circling, Capirossi is making you look average, you’re still wearing a stupid hat that even the fashion-challenged duo of Hopkins and Hayden wouldn’t touch, your mole looks like it’s getting bigger, and your bike is a heap of ..... Do you still have Ronald Ten Kate’s phone number? It’s always better to jump than be pushed—you can control your landing so much the better.
3. Valentino Rossi. Notice how there hasn’t been a vintage-Rossi victory lap celebration stunt since Jerez 2007 (which itself was clearly leftover from Valencia 2006). Is that because—with his much publicized tax dodging... ahem, tax problems—Rossi can’t afford to fly his fan club to all the races, or is it because he’s no longer so confident of winning? You’d have to say the latter, judging from the stunned expression on Rossi’s face while he sat there on the fence, having taken a comfortable victory (#63, for those keeping count). It was as if he’d forgotten what it felt like to win (7 months since the last time) and it took a crushing embrace from a sweaty Italian man to bring him back to reality. Putting it in perspective, Rossi would probably rank this win around the mid-50s of his overall list, I’d imagine. Perspective’s a funny thing, though, isn’t it? If Hayden had taken the W, he would probably rank this win at least #4 on his overall list.
2. Dani Pedrosa. The ride of the weekend, in my opinion. On one of the slowest bikes in the field versus one of the fastest, and using Michelin tyres on a ‘Bridgestone track’ Peddles rode the wheels off of his Honda. He led for a bit in the early stages, carried so much corner speed to keep his lap times competitive and worked really hard to gain ground under braking (by Dani’s standards, at least). However, he couldn’t make a decisive move on that Bridgestone-shod rocket ahead of him. Hmmm... I just had the strangest case of déjà vu... is it 2007? Anyway, where was I? It was too bad that Pedrosa gave up faster than you can say ‘Alex Hoffman’ a few laps from the end and conceded victory to Rossi. Er, that is, he decided that taking a seven point lead in the championship was more important than proving he can win a race from behind in the premier class/actually beat Rossi the proper way.
1. Jorge Lorenzo. What can you say about George Lawrence (Nice one, Burky!) and his insatiable ego that hasn’t already been said? On a race weekend where he didn’t take pole, win the race or even podium, Lorenzo still managed to hog the spotlight. Ex-world champ, Nicky Hayden, also failed to pole, win or podium, and crashed in practice, too. As an exercise for the reader, I invite you to compare and contrast the amount of column inches each rider received.
Finally, in other news, a 3rd edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” is being prepared for publication. The wildly popular #1 bestseller (there’s no truth to the rumour that Dani Amatriain has bought every copy) will receive a new chapter. In a Powerslide.net exclusive, I have obtained the chapter outline:
- Overcoming adversity: how macho am I?
- Who knew that the graphics of MotoGP games were so realistic?
- 10 reasons why Dani (still a ......) Pedrosa would have totally
cried like a baby and stuff and not even raced, if he’d suffered a
crash even half as cool as mine was.brilliant once again Sun! top top stuff, thanks.
10. Colin Edwards. The Texan ‘Helium Balloon’ has done it again. Congratulations, Col, on the 3rd pole position of your career (all of them within the last 12 months, too!). You didn’t disappoint in the race, either, fading as expected to a typically useless 7th place. Nevertheless, Tech 3 are ecstatic, and want to keep you for another year. It’s good to see mediocrity rewarded.
9. Anthony West. How pissed did Westy look on the starting grid that it wasn’t pissing down? He looked unhappier than Pedrosa sharing a podium with Lorenzo. P18 in qualifying, and P17 in the race. Now we’re seeing what you can do—like Antfan predicted—with that full preseason under your belt. Just think, if Melandri does take your place at Kawasaki, you will be able to write another blog entry moaning about how Melandri’s career could (should) have been yours...
8. Andrea Dovizioso. The fastest Honda on the day finishes down in P11. Good job, Dovi. If the 800s were any easier to ride, you’d be finishing last. One thing though, you do realise that replacing Hayden in the factory Honda team doesn’t actually require you to put in Hayden-like performances, right?
7. Bizarre Love Triangle. While most people who saw vision of Lorenzo’s Friday practice—specifically, the moment when he embarked on a show of modern interpretive dance symbolising mans’ place in an increasingly mechanised world—were thinking: holy ....... ...., Batman! not everyone felt the same way. In the Team Fiat Yamaha pits, Uccio’s look of concern had nothing to do with Lorenzo’s wellbeing and everything to do with Rossi’s oh-so-effeminate clutching of a towel to his face. It’s long been known that Rossi has declared big hair passé, Nothing Compares 2U his favourite song, and that thin is in for 2008. Desperate to retain his status as #1 Rossi fluffer/fluffee, Uccio has sleeked down his own unruly mop top and even looks to have shed a few kilos. But as he watched Rossi bite into that towel (wishing it was a pillow?), Uccio must have been a very worried man...
6. Nicky Hayden. Didn’t you win a world championship a couple of years back? Aren’t you riding for the best factory team in the last 25 years of motorcycle Grand Prix racing? Isn’t your ‘teammate’ leading the world championship at the moment? Tinfoil hat conspiracies aside, it looks like you’re on the Alex Criville path to career oblivion.
5. Casey Stoner. Why do people hate you, jug ears? A bad tyre choice leaves you a distant 3rd at a race most pundits gave you a fair chance of winning, and everyone labels you an utter disappointment. Yet the exact same scenario at Estoril results in teflon-Rossi walking away unscathed. Perhaps you need to start giving interviews to the Spanish press, talking about how winning lets you be the Casey Stoner you want to be.
4. Chris Vermeulen. The ‘Ben-Spies-for-God’ zealots are circling, Capirossi is making you look average, you’re still wearing a stupid hat that even the fashion-challenged duo of Hopkins and Hayden wouldn’t touch, your mole looks like it’s getting bigger, and your bike is a heap of ..... Do you still have Ronald Ten Kate’s phone number? It’s always better to jump than be pushed—you can control your landing so much the better.
3. Valentino Rossi. Notice how there hasn’t been a vintage-Rossi victory lap celebration stunt since Jerez 2007 (which itself was clearly leftover from Valencia 2006). Is that because—with his much publicized tax dodging... ahem, tax problems—Rossi can’t afford to fly his fan club to all the races, or is it because he’s no longer so confident of winning? You’d have to say the latter, judging from the stunned expression on Rossi’s face while he sat there on the fence, having taken a comfortable victory (#63, for those keeping count). It was as if he’d forgotten what it felt like to win (7 months since the last time) and it took a crushing embrace from a sweaty Italian man to bring him back to reality. Putting it in perspective, Rossi would probably rank this win around the mid-50s of his overall list, I’d imagine. Perspective’s a funny thing, though, isn’t it? If Hayden had taken the W, he would probably rank this win at least #4 on his overall list.
2. Dani Pedrosa. The ride of the weekend, in my opinion. On one of the slowest bikes in the field versus one of the fastest, and using Michelin tyres on a ‘Bridgestone track’ Peddles rode the wheels off of his Honda. He led for a bit in the early stages, carried so much corner speed to keep his lap times competitive and worked really hard to gain ground under braking (by Dani’s standards, at least). However, he couldn’t make a decisive move on that Bridgestone-shod rocket ahead of him. Hmmm... I just had the strangest case of déjà vu... is it 2007? Anyway, where was I? It was too bad that Pedrosa gave up faster than you can say ‘Alex Hoffman’ a few laps from the end and conceded victory to Rossi. Er, that is, he decided that taking a seven point lead in the championship was more important than proving he can win a race from behind in the premier class/actually beat Rossi the proper way.
1. Jorge Lorenzo. What can you say about George Lawrence (Nice one, Burky!) and his insatiable ego that hasn’t already been said? On a race weekend where he didn’t take pole, win the race or even podium, Lorenzo still managed to hog the spotlight. Ex-world champ, Nicky Hayden, also failed to pole, win or podium, and crashed in practice, too. As an exercise for the reader, I invite you to compare and contrast the amount of column inches each rider received.
Finally, in other news, a 3rd edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” is being prepared for publication. The wildly popular #1 bestseller (there’s no truth to the rumour that Dani Amatriain has bought every copy) will receive a new chapter. In a Powerslide.net exclusive, I have obtained the chapter outline:
- Overcoming adversity: how macho am I?
- Who knew that the graphics of MotoGP games were so realistic?
- 10 reasons why Dani (still a ......) Pedrosa would have totally
cried like a baby and stuff and not even raced, if he’d suffered a
crash even half as cool as mine was.brilliant once again Sun! top top stuff, thanks.
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2006
- Messages
- 3,075
- Location
- Living the dream in Scotland
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Rising Sun @ May 10 2008, 12:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>A Top Ten Guide to Shanghai, China, 2008.
10. Colin Edwards. The Texan ‘Helium Balloon’ has done it again. Congratulations, Col, on the 3rd pole position of your career (all of them within the last 12 months, too!). You didn’t disappoint in the race, either, fading as expected to a typically useless 7th place. Nevertheless, Tech 3 are ecstatic, and want to keep you for another year. It’s good to see mediocrity rewarded.
9. Anthony West. How pissed did Westy look on the starting grid that it wasn’t pissing down? He looked unhappier than Pedrosa sharing a podium with Lorenzo. P18 in qualifying, and P17 in the race. Now we’re seeing what you can do—like Antfan predicted—with that full preseason under your belt. Just think, if Melandri does take your place at Kawasaki, you will be able to write another blog entry moaning about how Melandri’s career could (should) have been yours...
8. Andrea Dovizioso. The fastest Honda on the day finishes down in P11. Good job, Dovi. If the 800s were any easier to ride, you’d be finishing last. One thing though, you do realise that replacing Hayden in the factory Honda team doesn’t actually require you to put in Hayden-like performances, right?
7. Bizarre Love Triangle. While most people who saw vision of Lorenzo’s Friday practice—specifically, the moment when he embarked on a show of modern interpretive dance symbolising mans’ place in an increasingly mechanised world—were thinking: holy ....... ...., Batman! not everyone felt the same way. In the Team Fiat Yamaha pits, Uccio’s look of concern had nothing to do with Lorenzo’s wellbeing and everything to do with Rossi’s oh-so-effeminate clutching of a towel to his face. It’s long been known that Rossi has declared big hair passé, Nothing Compares 2U his favourite song, and that thin is in for 2008. Desperate to retain his status as #1 Rossi fluffer/fluffee, Uccio has sleeked down his own unruly mop top and even looks to have shed a few kilos. But as he watched Rossi bite into that towel (wishing it was a pillow?), Uccio must have been a very worried man...
6. Nicky Hayden. Didn’t you win a world championship a couple of years back? Aren’t you riding for the best factory team in the last 25 years of motorcycle Grand Prix racing? Isn’t your ‘teammate’ leading the world championship at the moment? Tinfoil hat conspiracies aside, it looks like you’re on the Alex Criville path to career oblivion.
5. Casey Stoner. Why do people hate you, jug ears? A bad tyre choice leaves you a distant 3rd at a race most pundits gave you a fair chance of winning, and everyone labels you an utter disappointment. Yet the exact same scenario at Estoril results in teflon-Rossi walking away unscathed. Perhaps you need to start giving interviews to the Spanish press, talking about how winning lets you be the Casey Stoner you want to be.
4. Chris Vermeulen. The ‘Ben-Spies-for-God’ zealots are circling, Capirossi is making you look average, you’re still wearing a stupid hat that even the fashion-challenged duo of Hopkins and Hayden wouldn’t touch, your mole looks like it’s getting bigger, and your bike is a heap of ..... Do you still have Ronald Ten Kate’s phone number? It’s always better to jump than be pushed—you can control your landing so much the better.
3. Valentino Rossi. Notice how there hasn’t been a vintage-Rossi victory lap celebration stunt since Jerez 2007 (which itself was clearly leftover from Valencia 2006). Is that because—with his much publicized tax dodging... ahem, tax problems—Rossi can’t afford to fly his fan club to all the races, or is it because he’s no longer so confident of winning? You’d have to say the latter, judging from the stunned expression on Rossi’s face while he sat there on the fence, having taken a comfortable victory (#63, for those keeping count). It was as if he’d forgotten what it felt like to win (7 months since the last time) and it took a crushing embrace from a sweaty Italian man to bring him back to reality. Putting it in perspective, Rossi would probably rank this win around the mid-50s of his overall list, I’d imagine. Perspective’s a funny thing, though, isn’t it? If Hayden had taken the W, he would probably rank this win at least #4 on his overall list.
2. Dani Pedrosa. The ride of the weekend, in my opinion. On one of the slowest bikes in the field versus one of the fastest, and using Michelin tyres on a ‘Bridgestone track’ Peddles rode the wheels off of his Honda. He led for a bit in the early stages, carried so much corner speed to keep his lap times competitive and worked really hard to gain ground under braking (by Dani’s standards, at least). However, he couldn’t make a decisive move on that Bridgestone-shod rocket ahead of him. Hmmm... I just had the strangest case of déjà vu... is it 2007? Anyway, where was I? It was too bad that Pedrosa gave up faster than you can say ‘Alex Hoffman’ a few laps from the end and conceded victory to Rossi. Er, that is, he decided that taking a seven point lead in the championship was more important than proving he can win a race from behind in the premier class/actually beat Rossi the proper way.
1. Jorge Lorenzo. What can you say about George Lawrence (Nice one, Burky!) and his insatiable ego that hasn’t already been said? On a race weekend where he didn’t take pole, win the race or even podium, Lorenzo still managed to hog the spotlight. Ex-world champ, Nicky Hayden, also failed to pole, win or podium, and crashed in practice, too. As an exercise for the reader, I invite you to compare and contrast the amount of column inches each rider received.
Finally, in other news, a 3rd edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” is being prepared for publication. The wildly popular #1 bestseller (there’s no truth to the rumour that Dani Amatriain has bought every copy) will receive a new chapter. In a Powerslide.net exclusive, I have obtained the chapter outline:
- Overcoming adversity: how macho am I?
- Who knew that the graphics of MotoGP games were so realistic?
- 10 reasons why Dani (still a ......) Pedrosa would have totally
cried like a baby and stuff and not even raced, if he’d suffered a
crash even half as cool as mine was.
This is totally quality stuff!!!!
10. Colin Edwards. The Texan ‘Helium Balloon’ has done it again. Congratulations, Col, on the 3rd pole position of your career (all of them within the last 12 months, too!). You didn’t disappoint in the race, either, fading as expected to a typically useless 7th place. Nevertheless, Tech 3 are ecstatic, and want to keep you for another year. It’s good to see mediocrity rewarded.
9. Anthony West. How pissed did Westy look on the starting grid that it wasn’t pissing down? He looked unhappier than Pedrosa sharing a podium with Lorenzo. P18 in qualifying, and P17 in the race. Now we’re seeing what you can do—like Antfan predicted—with that full preseason under your belt. Just think, if Melandri does take your place at Kawasaki, you will be able to write another blog entry moaning about how Melandri’s career could (should) have been yours...
8. Andrea Dovizioso. The fastest Honda on the day finishes down in P11. Good job, Dovi. If the 800s were any easier to ride, you’d be finishing last. One thing though, you do realise that replacing Hayden in the factory Honda team doesn’t actually require you to put in Hayden-like performances, right?
7. Bizarre Love Triangle. While most people who saw vision of Lorenzo’s Friday practice—specifically, the moment when he embarked on a show of modern interpretive dance symbolising mans’ place in an increasingly mechanised world—were thinking: holy ....... ...., Batman! not everyone felt the same way. In the Team Fiat Yamaha pits, Uccio’s look of concern had nothing to do with Lorenzo’s wellbeing and everything to do with Rossi’s oh-so-effeminate clutching of a towel to his face. It’s long been known that Rossi has declared big hair passé, Nothing Compares 2U his favourite song, and that thin is in for 2008. Desperate to retain his status as #1 Rossi fluffer/fluffee, Uccio has sleeked down his own unruly mop top and even looks to have shed a few kilos. But as he watched Rossi bite into that towel (wishing it was a pillow?), Uccio must have been a very worried man...
6. Nicky Hayden. Didn’t you win a world championship a couple of years back? Aren’t you riding for the best factory team in the last 25 years of motorcycle Grand Prix racing? Isn’t your ‘teammate’ leading the world championship at the moment? Tinfoil hat conspiracies aside, it looks like you’re on the Alex Criville path to career oblivion.
5. Casey Stoner. Why do people hate you, jug ears? A bad tyre choice leaves you a distant 3rd at a race most pundits gave you a fair chance of winning, and everyone labels you an utter disappointment. Yet the exact same scenario at Estoril results in teflon-Rossi walking away unscathed. Perhaps you need to start giving interviews to the Spanish press, talking about how winning lets you be the Casey Stoner you want to be.
4. Chris Vermeulen. The ‘Ben-Spies-for-God’ zealots are circling, Capirossi is making you look average, you’re still wearing a stupid hat that even the fashion-challenged duo of Hopkins and Hayden wouldn’t touch, your mole looks like it’s getting bigger, and your bike is a heap of ..... Do you still have Ronald Ten Kate’s phone number? It’s always better to jump than be pushed—you can control your landing so much the better.
3. Valentino Rossi. Notice how there hasn’t been a vintage-Rossi victory lap celebration stunt since Jerez 2007 (which itself was clearly leftover from Valencia 2006). Is that because—with his much publicized tax dodging... ahem, tax problems—Rossi can’t afford to fly his fan club to all the races, or is it because he’s no longer so confident of winning? You’d have to say the latter, judging from the stunned expression on Rossi’s face while he sat there on the fence, having taken a comfortable victory (#63, for those keeping count). It was as if he’d forgotten what it felt like to win (7 months since the last time) and it took a crushing embrace from a sweaty Italian man to bring him back to reality. Putting it in perspective, Rossi would probably rank this win around the mid-50s of his overall list, I’d imagine. Perspective’s a funny thing, though, isn’t it? If Hayden had taken the W, he would probably rank this win at least #4 on his overall list.
2. Dani Pedrosa. The ride of the weekend, in my opinion. On one of the slowest bikes in the field versus one of the fastest, and using Michelin tyres on a ‘Bridgestone track’ Peddles rode the wheels off of his Honda. He led for a bit in the early stages, carried so much corner speed to keep his lap times competitive and worked really hard to gain ground under braking (by Dani’s standards, at least). However, he couldn’t make a decisive move on that Bridgestone-shod rocket ahead of him. Hmmm... I just had the strangest case of déjà vu... is it 2007? Anyway, where was I? It was too bad that Pedrosa gave up faster than you can say ‘Alex Hoffman’ a few laps from the end and conceded victory to Rossi. Er, that is, he decided that taking a seven point lead in the championship was more important than proving he can win a race from behind in the premier class/actually beat Rossi the proper way.
1. Jorge Lorenzo. What can you say about George Lawrence (Nice one, Burky!) and his insatiable ego that hasn’t already been said? On a race weekend where he didn’t take pole, win the race or even podium, Lorenzo still managed to hog the spotlight. Ex-world champ, Nicky Hayden, also failed to pole, win or podium, and crashed in practice, too. As an exercise for the reader, I invite you to compare and contrast the amount of column inches each rider received.
Finally, in other news, a 3rd edition of “The Jorge Lorenzo story: how good am I?” is being prepared for publication. The wildly popular #1 bestseller (there’s no truth to the rumour that Dani Amatriain has bought every copy) will receive a new chapter. In a Powerslide.net exclusive, I have obtained the chapter outline:
- Overcoming adversity: how macho am I?
- Who knew that the graphics of MotoGP games were so realistic?
- 10 reasons why Dani (still a ......) Pedrosa would have totally
cried like a baby and stuff and not even raced, if he’d suffered a
crash even half as cool as mine was.
This is totally quality stuff!!!!
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2006
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- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Bikergirl @ May 13 2008, 10:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>Actually what Vale was saying as he bit into that towel...
Ah, so he was biting the towel! Somedamnwriter will be pleased.
Thanks for the lip-reading info; always good to learn how to swear in another language!
Ah, so he was biting the towel! Somedamnwriter will be pleased.
Thanks for the lip-reading info; always good to learn how to swear in another language!
somedamnwriter
Moderator
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Rising Sun @ May 16 2008, 01:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>Ah, so he was biting the towel! Somedamnwriter will be pleased.
i hate you now
i hate you now
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just to keep son of doohan happy.
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