<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Rising Sun @ Jun 6 2008, 08:55 PM)
<{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>A Top Ten Guide to Mugello, Italy, 2008
10. Colin Edwards. The Texan ‘Delusional Vortex’ gave us a fascinating glimpse into his state of mind with the post-race comment, “I’m not a guy that likes fifth [place].” What a miserable time you’ve had in MotoGP, then, Wally, because fifth place—and usually lower—has been your lot. It all makes sense that you’re talking to Kawasaki about next year, now. Aside from the Mon$ter money that might lob your way, you seem to revel in misery, and Kawasaki can provide that, taking you from mid-pack to back of the pack faster than you can say ‘retirement fund’.
9. Brad Pitt. What the .... he has to do with MotoGP, I don’t know, but it was FANTASTIC—I repeat, FAN-.......-TASTIC—to have the TV director cut away from the action at the end of the first lap so we could watch Bradley and his son looking at the bikes rocketing past from their privileged position on the pit wall. Uccio and the brolly dollies just aren’t enough any more. More celebs at the races please Dorna; star-spotting might actually be more entertaining that the racing you’re providing.
8. Andrea Dovizioso. Earlier in the week, Mr. “a-Vespa-is-more-difficult-to-ride-than-my-RC212V” made the startling confession that racing in the premier class scares him (he must’ve been reading Rossi’s biography). Nevertheless, Pimp Dovi [What is it with MotoGP guys and crap headgear? Rossi, Vermeulen, Hayden... is it some kind of club?] was delighted with his eighth place finish at Mugello. Of course, when he says he was ‘delighted’ he’s referring to the fact that Lorenzo crashed out while attempting to overtake him (thus proving that Dovi is the better rider, once and for all), and because Takahashi also crashed out in the 250s, avoiding another embarrassing (for Dovi) good showing on a bike that hasn’t seen development since Edison had his first (
the first) light bulb moment. Oh, and Hayden ended up thirteenth, behind the d’Antin Ducatis. De Angelis finishing as best rookie (four places higher) doesn’t matter, because who cares about him?
7.
Kawasaki. The comedy just keeps on coming! All that the soul-searching team meeting after the Le Mans debacle produced was another classic Team Kermit moment—a broken downshifter that sent Hopkins hurtling off track at 200 km/h. What will they come up with next? I’d be wary of your launch control next time out, Hopper—you know only too well what can happen (and how stupid it looks) when it breaks.
As for Westy’s race... well, it was a fascinating battle between a guy who knows the problems aren’t in Anthony West’s head (because the one second a lap that Hopkins consistently has over him IS real) and a guy who was at the peak of his powers during the Doohan era—over ten years ago! [Of course, we all know how foolish it is to suggest a rider’s best days are behind them.] Their duel was a ‘classic’, and when I say classic, I mean ........., of course: two bikes with massively powerful engines (possibly the best in the paddock) that completely fail in putting that power on the ground. In the end, Tadayuki Okada, 41, a mild-mannered NTV special comments commentator from Tokyo, who lists his hobbies as shopping and sleeping, prevailed. However, Westy can at least console himself with the fact that he didn’t pick up the ‘Westy’ thanks largely to Randy de Crash-a-day’s 2-for-1 effort with Melandri.
6. Loris Capirossi. Getting a free draft from Valentino and ending up with your first 800cc front-row start only cost you a pizza. [N.B. Elias, de Angelis, et al: all it takes is a little Italian food... instead of being labeled a ‘sneaky cheater’ by your competitors you get to have a good old chuckle in the press room.] It seems everything is going well for Loris at the moment. Suzuki love him, and he loves them right back: it’s a match made in Rizla-blue heaven. He no longer has to deal with pressures of being an Italian in an Italian team with an Italian bike. Nor does he have to deal with a new—previously crash-prone—teammate coming in and making him look like a washed-up old hack (his current teammate he can actually beat, most of the time).
For Suzuki’s part, they don’t have to put up with a moody guy with glow-in-the-dark teeth and ‘buckets of talent’ endlessly banging on about podiums and race wins. No pressure, no expectations—that’s the Suzuki culture.
5. Nicky Hayden. Hey, Nicky, have you been reading Marco’s diary on his website? No? I guess it’s because it’s in one of them furrin’ languages, innit? And I know you wouldn’t bother with an English translation, because you hate movies with subtitles. Anyway, Marco, talking about his 2008 season, wrote: “Just when I think it can’t get any worse, more .... falls out of the sky splattering me right between the eyes.” That pretty much sums up your career, post Valencia 2006, don’t you think? A friend of a friend of a guy who knows a guy at the pub around the corner says you’re ‘protecting’ someone over the Mugello result. Maybe it’s time to sit good ole Pete Benson down, tell him the magic’s gone, and that the sheep are waiting back in New Zealand. Then, dig up Erv Kanemoto from whatever rock Kocinski hid him under (or remind Burgess that he was going to turn Rossi down to stay at Honda and work with you—until the geniuses at HRC said, “No, Jeremy, we want you to crew for Barros.”). I’d say that’s about your only chance of turning things around at Repsol Honda. Whatever you do, don’t ask Criville for career advice.
4. The Helmet. Valentino’s ‘special’ tribute to his fans was... a picture of his face. I’ll bet he’s a Skyhooks fan. So... about the helmet. It looked kinda stupid, really. Classy? Not so much. Funny? Hell yeah! But it’s the story behind the image that interested me. So, in a Powerslide.net exclusive, I sat down with Aldo Drudi, designer of the lid, to talk about how it all happened. Like one of Princess Di’s old flat mates talking to a ‘News of the World’ reporter with a fat cheque book, he couldn’t wait to tell all, gushing:
“We were sitting in a pizzeria, just the usual gang, trying to work out what to do for Mugello this year. How could we top the brilliance of a plain white helmet with a red heart on the front? Vale wanted to give fans an insight into his feeling when riding the bike that loves him. We talked for hours while Uccio massaged cheese into our feet, and olive oil on our shoulders. Vale grew increasingly frustrated trying to describe the feeling—in the end he threw up his arms and said, ‘If only you could see my face when I’m riding!’ It was, of course, a stroke of genius. I had my camera, asked if he could recreate it, and we took a few shots. But the initial results were disappointing, and Uccio, looking at the rejected Polaroids, made things awkward when he said, ‘Hey, I’ve seen that expression before... it’s Colin Edwards’ ... face!’ Vale stared at him coldly for a moment, before shrugging and turning away: ‘I guess I’m not the only one who's tried the “other side” of the Fiat Yamaha garage,’ he muttered. Poor Uccio... he was in a spot, but he rebounded quickly: ‘I still have Elisabetta’s number,’ he said, ‘I’m sure she could help; I’ll take the photos.’ Vale smiled, seemingly lost in a pleasant memory, and the arrangements were made. But afterwards Vale wouldn’t say what happened, only that the result was ‘authentic’. When Uccio gave me the photo to work with, I pressed him for details; he wouldn’t say much, but I gather the iconic photo you now see on the helmet was obtained through a combination of soft lighting, romantic music, Elisabetta in an ultra low cut dress and the sudden appearance (and employment) of a cattle prod—Uccio, as ever, showed impeccable timing to capture the money shot.”
I thanked Aldo for his time, paid him with the money Ben generates through the Google ads, and tried to think of non-bovine related thoughts...
3. Casey Stoner. Mr. “I-don’t-need-a-Bridgestone-front-qualifier-anywhere-on-the-first-couple-of-rows-will-do-me” started from fourth, got the hole-shot and led the race for the early laps. But Rossi had a better rhythm so his lead didn’t last long, and, later,
a mistake in turn one (that let Pedrosa actually pass someone during the race) killed any chance of putting real pressure on Rossi in the closing laps (the fact that #46 wasn’t using 2007 Michelins had a lot to do with it, too). For once,
Stoner didn’t complain too much in his post-race comments, perhaps grateful that Ducati, by signing up three .... riders for 2008, had guaranteed he wouldn’t be cheated out of a Mugello podium again.
2. Dani Pedrosa. It’s no wonder Nicky Hayden is having such a dire season. Pedrosa has turned into his clone, and there can be only one. A win, a 4th place and 4 podiums in six races... that’s Hayden the champ through and through. Lorenzo’s crashed himself out of championship contention, all Pedrosa needs now is for Rossi to choke—er, I mean, inexplicably crash when not under pressure—at season’s end and then
he’ll have a championship trophy to hide behind when Puig is in a bad mood. And then, if karma exists, in 2009, Dovizioso will come into the team and suddenly Pedrosa will feel like a particularly disliked red-headed step-child.
1. Valentino Rossi. Mr “
I-need-a-Bridgestone-front-qualifier-because-my-starts-are-always-crap-or-average-at-best-so-if-I-have-a-poor-grid-slot-Stoner-or-Pedrosa-might-have-disappeared-at-the-front-by-the-time-I-work-my-way-through-the-pack” had pole (his first in a year; Edwards has three times as many in the last 12 months!) but dropped to 4th, and then briefly to 5th when
Hayden put a move on him. Still, it wasn’t long before our Vale, was back on top—where he belongs, as the Valentino Rossi he wants to be. Three out of three for boring race wins, means no points for style, though, so maybe you are past your best...
His comment on Le Mans, “I expected to win,” is even more astounding. How the .... did he think he’d do that without passing anyone?
Non Aussies google Skyhooks + Ego, but don't watch the video on YouTube if you value your sense of taste.
Another cracker Sun, keep em coming!
Pete
