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MotoGP fading
2009 claims Kawasaki with others set to follow
(06/01/2009)
MotoGP is officially facing its worst crisis since the time Foggy told us all that he was looking to manage/ruin a GP team.
Anyone left? The MotoGP grid gets weaker for 2009
Up until recently the 'credit crunch' was just a excuse driven buzzword for a few half-arsed firms going out of business due to poor management - but now the real affects are becoming apparent with poorly managed, half-arsed MotoGP teams looking like they'll be no longer able to ride the GP Easyboat free of charge.
Currently affected teams
Kawasaki
Famous for building cargo ships that carry underwear from Asia to the various Primark stores dotted all over the globe Kawasaki's MotoGP effort appears to be collapsing faster than a Roberts' family soufflé. A notice of withdrawal from MotoGP sadly is looking more and more likely meaning there'll not now be a green tinge at the back of the pack.
Despite a blip in 2007 Team Green have habitually stuck to their work premise of being pathetically weak and using any data gained from racing at the back to help develop their snowmobile range. However with climate change allegedly melting the snow and the global economy looking weaker than Pedrosa's ill Aunt the Green Giants have decided that they have no need for a MotoGP team.
Pramac Ducati
Nowhere else can the financial problems be highlighted better than with Ducati's 'ill child' team. Run badly for several years by a cheating baldy the second rate Ducati team survived year-on-year despite even once hiring Neil Hodgson. However, and after a bloodless coup, despite now the team being managed by trustworthy people who choose not to siphon the bank account to fund a new yacht Pramac Ducati's finical troubles have hit home after losing their title sponsor Alice (known for really, really crap colour schemes and dated graphics).
The net outcome is that their team has been halved and their newly signed mafia offspring rider Niccolo 'my uncle will leave a horse's head in your bed' Canepa has had to be discharged to the thoroughly evil team Onde 2000.
Suzuki
With Kawasaki folding faster than Kamiya Satoshi on speed it only stands to reason that Suzuki, or 'a blue Kawasaki', will be next.
To strengthen rumours Loris Capirossi's manager Carlo Pernat claimed that "It's 150 percent certain that Loris will race next season with Suzuki," - a last ditch statement if ever we heard one.
Possible affected teams
Honda
They quit Formula 1 a few months ago because they were rubbish and couldn't find a way of un-hiring Jenson 'silver-spoon' Button. About half of the MotoGP staff, especially the race officials, are hired/bribed (delete as applicable) by the mighty evil HRC. Should they quit we'd be left with the proverbial AMA.
Ducati
Should Marlboro decide that nobody wants to fight off cancer in a recession and pull out of sponsoring Ducati then the Italian pipe-bending firm would too surely be forced to quit. Or have the rules changed so they were allowed a bigger engine than everyone else.
Yamaha
They can say what they want, but without Lorenzo and Rossi they're actually a very average team. Should these two quit (Rossi through age, Lorenzo through injury) they'd be rubbish and probably quit too.
2009…and you though 2008 was bad.
MotoGP fading
2009 claims Kawasaki with others set to follow
(06/01/2009)
MotoGP is officially facing its worst crisis since the time Foggy told us all that he was looking to manage/ruin a GP team.
Anyone left? The MotoGP grid gets weaker for 2009
Up until recently the 'credit crunch' was just a excuse driven buzzword for a few half-arsed firms going out of business due to poor management - but now the real affects are becoming apparent with poorly managed, half-arsed MotoGP teams looking like they'll be no longer able to ride the GP Easyboat free of charge.
Currently affected teams
Kawasaki
Famous for building cargo ships that carry underwear from Asia to the various Primark stores dotted all over the globe Kawasaki's MotoGP effort appears to be collapsing faster than a Roberts' family soufflé. A notice of withdrawal from MotoGP sadly is looking more and more likely meaning there'll not now be a green tinge at the back of the pack.
Despite a blip in 2007 Team Green have habitually stuck to their work premise of being pathetically weak and using any data gained from racing at the back to help develop their snowmobile range. However with climate change allegedly melting the snow and the global economy looking weaker than Pedrosa's ill Aunt the Green Giants have decided that they have no need for a MotoGP team.
Pramac Ducati
Nowhere else can the financial problems be highlighted better than with Ducati's 'ill child' team. Run badly for several years by a cheating baldy the second rate Ducati team survived year-on-year despite even once hiring Neil Hodgson. However, and after a bloodless coup, despite now the team being managed by trustworthy people who choose not to siphon the bank account to fund a new yacht Pramac Ducati's finical troubles have hit home after losing their title sponsor Alice (known for really, really crap colour schemes and dated graphics).
The net outcome is that their team has been halved and their newly signed mafia offspring rider Niccolo 'my uncle will leave a horse's head in your bed' Canepa has had to be discharged to the thoroughly evil team Onde 2000.
Suzuki
With Kawasaki folding faster than Kamiya Satoshi on speed it only stands to reason that Suzuki, or 'a blue Kawasaki', will be next.
To strengthen rumours Loris Capirossi's manager Carlo Pernat claimed that "It's 150 percent certain that Loris will race next season with Suzuki," - a last ditch statement if ever we heard one.
Possible affected teams
Honda
They quit Formula 1 a few months ago because they were rubbish and couldn't find a way of un-hiring Jenson 'silver-spoon' Button. About half of the MotoGP staff, especially the race officials, are hired/bribed (delete as applicable) by the mighty evil HRC. Should they quit we'd be left with the proverbial AMA.
Ducati
Should Marlboro decide that nobody wants to fight off cancer in a recession and pull out of sponsoring Ducati then the Italian pipe-bending firm would too surely be forced to quit. Or have the rules changed so they were allowed a bigger engine than everyone else.
Yamaha
They can say what they want, but without Lorenzo and Rossi they're actually a very average team. Should these two quit (Rossi through age, Lorenzo through injury) they'd be rubbish and probably quit too.
2009…and you though 2008 was bad.
