10. Colin Edwards. The Texan ‘Wafting Wally’ found himself in 3rd place going into the first corner (Hayden was having a mini-flashback to Philip Island 2006), but, predictably, it didn’t last, as he steadily worked his way backwards to finish in 6th (lucky not to be caught by Nakano in the closing laps). Speaking of predictable—although I couldn’t be bothered to actually look for them—I’m sure Wally’s post-race comments went something like this: “For once, we got a good start, but I didn’t have a great feeling with the front-end or from my tyres, and I struggled with my lap times… I couldn’t get it to turn in like I did in practice… the balance of the bike was wrong… limited dry set-up really hurt us…I’m not good enough for this level, and I should do the decent thing and retire to WSBK, grab another world title (and remind everyone that I am better than Bayliss), and let Spies have my MotoGP ride.”
9. Shinya Nakano. P9 Perfection… what else can you say? Nakers flirted with fate over the last four rounds (8th, then 5th, 5th and 7th), but nevertheless finished the championship ranked in 9th place, on 126 points. Now, the mathematically astute among you will have quickly realised that 126 points / 18 rounds = 7 points per round, and that 7 points per round is what you get for finishing in 9th place, so it seems that ‘Rock Steady’ knew what he was doing all along. I’m not sure we can say the same thing about his move to WSBK as Biaggi’s team-mate in the new Aprillia team, though, but he could hardly wait around to see who would blink first in the (now redundant) Spain (Martinez) vs. Japan (Kawasaki) passport staring match.
8. Marco Melandri. What can you say about Marco’s season that hasn’t already been said? Choose from the following options:
a) On course to finish 10th and part from Ducati with a thimbleful of dignity, Marco suddenly realised that the last ever ‘Westy’ (and his third in succession) was his for the taking if he could manage to run wide and/or miss a gear over the closing laps. Sure enough, Melandri was up to the task and finished in 16th place—unfortunately for #33 he was followed over the line by Westy himself, and (sometime the following afternoon) Toni Elias. Since the ‘Westy’ is only awarded when only a single rider finishes the race outside of the points, Marco went home empty-handed. His 2008 season in a snapshot, really.
Recently in his blog, Marco talked about his personal despair during the season, and how he thought about walking away from MotoGP… but he (and his manager) quickly realized how much he would stand to lose in that situation and they decided he couldn’t and shouldn’t give up (his jet-set lifestyle) so easily.
c) Starting from the back of the grid lets you piss against the fence away from the glare of the cameras.
d) When Team Kermit decided to approach Marco with an offer for 2009, this was their thought process: “We’ve got an overpaid, injury-prone ‘potential’ (perennial) ‘superstar-in-the-making-if-only-he-didn’t-have-bad-luck/keep-breaking-bones’ on our team, and we feel that a rider who is down on his luck (and price tag) and has only ever shown flashes of brilliance when riding a bike so good that Barros, Gibernau, (World-champ) Hayden, and (rookie year) Pedrosa could win races on it is the guy we need to take Kawasaki from nowhere to nowhere imaginable.”
The correct answer?
e) all of the above…
7. Chris Vermeulen. Fast forward 20 years from now. Imagine some mid-20s rider with several years of factory experience in WSBK and MotoGP constantly tooling around midpack or worse with the iconic #46 emblazoned on his bike. Now imagine the outcry from the yellow-clad Rossifumi faithful at such a travesty being wrought on His Rossifuminesses’ legacy. Somewhere, the ghost of Barry Sheene is wailing in futility at the endless procession of no.2 riders who’ve sullied his beloved #7. 13th place at Valencia, less than a second ahead of Hopkins, and a long way back from Loris ‘Depend’ Capirossi… bloody hell, Vermin, even Ben Spies’ mother could have done better than that.
6. James Toseland. Jimmy the T, the Tose-man, the ..... Tonk legend, the man with a 6th place finish fetish (trying saying that fast, uh, 6 times)… easily the rookie of the year, in my opinion. Sure, Lorenzo took the actual title, winning a race, taking several poles and crashing oh so spectacularly, and, sure, Dovizioso managed to wring another season out of his ‘look-at-what-I-can-do-on-second-rate-equipment-that’s-not-actually-all-that-second-rate’ melodrama, even snagging a podium in the end, and, sure, de Angelis was able to finish in 4th place a couple of times, but none of them managed to pinch the crew chief from their team’s alleged no.1 rider for 2009...
5. Nicky Hayden. The Ducati-bound Kenlucky kid not only managed to successfully defend his #8 plate, he actually improved to 6th in the standings in 2008, a 94 mere points down on his teammate, and just 19 points back from his satellite nemesis, Andrea “The Hat, it’s all about the Hat” Dovizioso. Whatever you may glean from the tally of the points, Hayden rode like the King all through practice, in particular looking most impressive as he destroyed his Michelins through the never-ending left-hander that leads onto the main straight. Such a shame then that Repsol decided Hayden should spend his last race for HRC dressed like fat Elvis, wearing a truly vomit-inducing white jumpsuit. And while he didn’t quite ‘die-on-the-toilet’ as far as the race itself goes, being beaten again by ‘the Hat’ is probably something he’s going to have to get used to...
4. The Greatest Show on Tarmac. 1.6 billion Spaniards pack into the Ricardo Montalban circuit, with more enthusiasm than lemmings charging for a Norwegian cliff. Sure, being Spanish, they probably also love soccer (sorry, football) and are thus not easily bored, but what is it that so enthralls these MotoGP fans? The close racing? Pfft. We all know the WSBK is where it’s at. Consider the final round at Portimao, race 1: 67 year old MotoGP dud, Bayliss won by 2.2 seconds from 42 year old MotoGP dud, Checa, who was 5 seconds ahead of 53 year old MotoGP dud, Corser. But that’s just one race, I hear you say, you can’t judge WSBK just on that. Consider Portimao, race 2: Bayliss won again (yawn), 3.6 seconds from MotoGP dud, Fabrizio, in turn a further .7 seconds ahead of MotoGP dud, Haslam. Jonathan Green does try harder to make it sound more exciting than Nick Harris, though.
3. Valentino Rossi. It was another riding clinic from Vale, as he showed his competitors just how it’s done: qualify abysmally, scythe through the field on superior machinery and yet still finish miles behind the race winner. Two-thirds of the race in, he gave serious thought to honouring his annual gravel-kissing ceremony at Valencia commitments, before remembering at the last instant that he’d already done that in practice, saving himself from a last turn crash with a timely knee. And, while third place is nothing to sneeze at (especially if your name is Hayden, Dovizioso, or you ride for Suzuki or Kawasaki), when you’ve camped out on the podium for 16(!) out of 18 rounds, trying to find room in your trophy cabinet for one more piece of ugly-looking silverware is more trouble than it’s worth. Especially when you have such a full schedule of fun-filled activities—rallying and testing F1 cars—lined up for your off-season; quite a contrast from last year! I guess Yamaha are just hoping and praying that Rossi doesn’t injure himself somehow over the winter break.
2. Dani Pedrosa. The god-awful vintage Repsol kit didn’t do Pedders any favour, either—making him look like a reject from a 70s American kids cartoon; all he needed was a knotted red scarf around his neck to complete the outfit. He race was over on the turn two of the first lap, when Stoner (who doesn’t have an ounce of Rossi’s showmanship—#46 made it ‘seem’ like a close race in Sepang until half-distance) roared by under brakes (well, Dani was braking at that point, anyways) and took off. Pedrosa could do nothing but follow in procession (as in Sepang). His haul of 40 points from the final two races, compares favourably with Stoner’s 35 and is almost on par with Rossi’s 41, but it also shows that he needs a season like 2006 (the irony!) if he is ever to become world champion...
1. Casey Stoner. The one-armed boy wonder, ‘fresh’ from his epic bout of self-loving post-race at Sepang took his 9th pole of the season (imagine how many he might have had if Bridgestone had bothered with a qualifying front tyre) and won his 6th race of the season with ‘comfortable’ ease (and a distinct lack of entertainment). Sure, Casey moaned a little about his wrist hurting towards the end of the race, forcing him to brake 50m earlier than usual (i.e. where Pedrosa does), but he still won by 4.9 seconds at a track renowned (according to Gavin “Verbal Diarrhea—there’s no cure for me” Emmett) for its technical difficulty and tendency to ‘bunch’ things up at the front. And so, in 2008 Stoner started and ended the season with victory, but in between his results varied wildly. A brief period of mid-season dominance was brought to an abrupt end in Laguna Seca, and then crashing out of two races in succession (while leading ‘comfortably’) let Rossi coast to title no.8 o’clock. Nevertheless, Stoner’s 280 points is the highest total amassed by a rider in the premier class who failed to win the world championship. Congratulations, Casey, I guess that makes you the biggest loser.
Next year, surely this will be renamed the ‘Canepa’…
Quite literally, as it’s turned out!
One final petty act from Puig the ......?
