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MotoGP race report, Brno
Stone me, it's Stoner again
(21/08/2007)
From the cramped and claustrophobic start the 18 riders carefully spread themselves out around the circuit in such a way as not to ever interfere with each other until the requested number of laps were completed.
Welcome to the insomniacs haven that is the Czech GP.
The race at Brno, was again, all about one child-like man.
21 years ago, next to a marsupial infested chazzabong, a young boy was born.
"Crikey! It's boy!" claimed his dad whose very statement clearly elevated him to one of the country's top medical consultants. "I'm gonna call him Casey after my favourite view - cases of beer!"
"Well I s'pose it's better than 'grilled shrimpy' that you had down for a ....'s name" sighed Casey's mother.
"Oy! Who said you could speak? And get me a tinnie!"
Aged 11, and thanks to an excellent Australian private education, young Casey said his very first words. "I gonna be bike champion!"
"Shelia! Come quick!" exclaimed his father almost choking on his Four-X "The little blighter's spoken! He said his first cocky words! Let's shave him a new mullet he's a man now!"
"Here's another beer dear" ventured his mother.
"I have a plan! And this time it doesn't involve koala bears, euts and a road trip to Toongabbie or Woolloomooloo. We're gonna take Casey racing!"
Soon, possibly within the hour, Casey became the Australian 'Junior Galah' champion. But he needed a bigger challenge. He needed to experience a more diverse culture and race riders that weren't drunk…so another plan was hatched by his father: "Casey m'boy, we're taking you to England!"
"I gonna be bike champion!"
Things went wrong from the very start. At the border control a terrible mix up meant that the United Kingdom authorities ended up letting the Stoners back in. From that point they began their gypsy van life visiting all the British race tracks and giving young Casey the chance to shine in the gloomy weather.
"I gonna be bike champion!" declared the little clot after claiming the 125 championship.
His efforts didn't go unnoticed and soon Casey was given a GP 125 ride and his dad a complimentary soap selection with full washing instructions. The young Aussie, unlike his dad, took full advantage of the gift and impressed one and all at GP level - so much so that by 2006 he'd wormed his way into MotoGP.
"I gonna be bike champion!" he told his dad.
After the 2007 Brno race, round 12 of the championship, Casey Stoner returned back to his garage an impressive 60 points clear of his nearest rival having totally dominated the race from lights to flag. His dad, as proud yet mulletted as ever, turned to his son and smiled.
"I gonna be bike champion!" said Casey.
"For God's sake Casey!" bellowed his father "Four years in an Australian private school and you can't say anything else?"
"The….cat…eerrr…sat….on…errr…on….thee-err…mat?"
"Much better."
Okay so I'm padding. But else can I do? The Brno race, unlike the 125 race, was duller than Pedrosa's haircut.
Stoner won…again. It was a brilliant display of dominance…again. The cocky Australian is all but mathematically the 2008 champion. And deservedly so. Valentino Rossi and crew can cry all they want about the unfairness of the new fair tyre rule but the fact is that the Australian has just been better than everyone else all season - by a considerable margin.
Second place, and his best finish to date, went to MGPN's favourite hoodie John 'Hooligan' Hopkins. The Angro-American was the only rider able to even dare push Stoner but found himself, unlike the time in the bar earlier with the guy with the moustache, fighting a losing battle.
It was a inspired ride that leaves his violent grin fourth in the championship and wondering how's he's on equal points with his team-mate despite beating him 8-4 and out qualifying him 9-3.
If we called it AllMotorcycleDiscussionAllTheTimeAndQuiteossiblyTh eBestSiteOnTheInternetForMototorcycleRrelatedNewsInformationAndWhatsHot.org , you’d probably forget what you looking for. But we didn’t, and it’s all here www.motorcycleaddicts.org, feed YOUR addiction today.
With his plough back in fine working order and his troughs sorted the ex-cultivation World Champion Nicky Hayden is finally reaping the seeds he's sown. A relatively unnoticed third gave the inbred star his third third in four races - the kind of non-winning consistency that slow-cooked him the title last season. Top Michelin finisher too.
Pedrosa was fourth. A boring result, from a boring rider with a boring haircut in a boring race.
At least the playground scuffle for fifth gave us some visuals to help fight off the all too inevitable boredom-induced coma. It was the battle of league two: Capirossi, Rossi, Vermin and De Puniet all scrapped from the moment the red lights (and the viewer's attention) went out.
Leading the earlier stages was Capirossi - a rider who's overshadowed in several ways. Behind Leaky was Valentino Rossi who once again was looking as likely to make an amazing comeback as Alberto Puig's real hair.
Time for some Italian cheating? Yes please! Capirossi, noting that Rossi was struggling to get past him and having absolutely no loyalty to Ducati waved his mate Valentino through believing that the yellow Italian would blast off into the distance and thank him later with a romantic pasta meal for two.
But cheating never pays - as a soon-to-be-broke Rossi himself would testify. Having let the vagabond ex-champion through Little Cheat Loris found that Rossi's tyres had turned to seepage and suddenly the stinking 46 was slowing him down. This gave Vermeulen all the opportunity he needed to mole his way past both multi-cheating Italians and claim fifth. Shove that in your carbonara.
Everyone else finished somewhere else.
Other winners included Sylvain Guintoli and simple Toni Elias.
With one seat still available at Tech 3 Yamaha Guintoli has found himself vying for the position with the teeth of Colin Edwards. The Frenchman needed to make Colin look average this weekend and did so by emailing a PDF of the American's results to Herve. After that he then went on to set the fastest time in second practice with the aid of some super soft Dunlop qualifiers - a tyre designed to give maximum grip for one lap then fall to pieces unlike their race tyre that gives average grip for one lap then falls to pieces.
In the race the plucky frog was as high as ninth battling hard with riders with real tyres. Eventually Sylvain had to settle for a disappointing thirteenth with his tyres proving to be as useful as a 'beginners guide to hand shadows' to Alex Hofmann.
Fat Toni? Off-track excursions, wide lines, an amazing style and every bit as barmy as ever. It's good to see him back. And it's great to know that the doctors didn't have time to inject him with any common sense.
Losers.
Colin Edwards' first lap crash wasn't very clever. Even worse the American blamed his tyres - which was very disappointing. In the good old days Colin could dream up some great excuses without jumping on the bandwagon. Foggy would shudder in his million pound Petronas funded house extension if he'd have heard such a weak excuse being used.
Shinners Nakano. What's happened to him? In true Edwards style the J.a.P rider claimed before the race that he was ready to fight up front now he'd taken shipment of the latest Honda parts. Instead the once highly rated star finished a minute off the pace.
Tamada was pretty rubbish too.
But the biggest loser of the day was you. Or it was if you watched the race. That time could have been spent doing something more interesting like de-crusting the toilet or hand-cutting the grass. Shame on you - you're worse than Tamada.
1. Casey Stoner AUS Ducati Marlboro Team (
43min 45.810 secs
2. John Hopkins USA Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
43min 53.713 secs
3. Nicky Hayden USA Repsol Honda Team (M) 43min 58.910 secs
4. Dani Pedrosa SPA Repsol Honda Team (M) 44min 1.610 secs
5. Chris Vermeulen AUS Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
44min 3.113 secs
6. Loris Capirossi ITA Ducati Marlboro Team (
44min 5.173 secs
7. Valentino Rossi ITA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 44min 8.295 secs
8. Randy de Puniet FRA Kawasaki Racing Team (
44min 8.883 secs
9. Alex Barros BRA Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
44min 18.102 secs
10. Carlos Checa SPA Honda LCR (M) 44min 20.963 secs
11. Toni Elias SPA Honda Gresini (
44min 23.558 secs
12. Anthony West AUS Kawasaki Racing Team (
44min 24.060 secs
13. Sylvain Guintoli FRA Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 44min 29.504 secs
14. Shinya Nakano JPN Konica Minolta Honda (M) 44min 42.879 secs
15. Kurtis Roberts USA Team Roberts (M) 44min 55.413 secs
16. Ivan Silva SPA Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
45min 7.220 secs
17. Makoto Tamada JPN Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 45min 11.614 secs
DNF:
Colin Edwards USA Fiat Yamaha Team (M)5min 25.074 secs ("it was the tyre's fault…")
Okay so that was weak, but I had little to go on.
MotoGP race report, Brno
Stone me, it's Stoner again
(21/08/2007)
From the cramped and claustrophobic start the 18 riders carefully spread themselves out around the circuit in such a way as not to ever interfere with each other until the requested number of laps were completed.
Welcome to the insomniacs haven that is the Czech GP.
The race at Brno, was again, all about one child-like man.
21 years ago, next to a marsupial infested chazzabong, a young boy was born.
"Crikey! It's boy!" claimed his dad whose very statement clearly elevated him to one of the country's top medical consultants. "I'm gonna call him Casey after my favourite view - cases of beer!"
"Well I s'pose it's better than 'grilled shrimpy' that you had down for a ....'s name" sighed Casey's mother.
"Oy! Who said you could speak? And get me a tinnie!"
Aged 11, and thanks to an excellent Australian private education, young Casey said his very first words. "I gonna be bike champion!"
"Shelia! Come quick!" exclaimed his father almost choking on his Four-X "The little blighter's spoken! He said his first cocky words! Let's shave him a new mullet he's a man now!"
"Here's another beer dear" ventured his mother.
"I have a plan! And this time it doesn't involve koala bears, euts and a road trip to Toongabbie or Woolloomooloo. We're gonna take Casey racing!"
Soon, possibly within the hour, Casey became the Australian 'Junior Galah' champion. But he needed a bigger challenge. He needed to experience a more diverse culture and race riders that weren't drunk…so another plan was hatched by his father: "Casey m'boy, we're taking you to England!"
"I gonna be bike champion!"
Things went wrong from the very start. At the border control a terrible mix up meant that the United Kingdom authorities ended up letting the Stoners back in. From that point they began their gypsy van life visiting all the British race tracks and giving young Casey the chance to shine in the gloomy weather.
"I gonna be bike champion!" declared the little clot after claiming the 125 championship.
His efforts didn't go unnoticed and soon Casey was given a GP 125 ride and his dad a complimentary soap selection with full washing instructions. The young Aussie, unlike his dad, took full advantage of the gift and impressed one and all at GP level - so much so that by 2006 he'd wormed his way into MotoGP.
"I gonna be bike champion!" he told his dad.
After the 2007 Brno race, round 12 of the championship, Casey Stoner returned back to his garage an impressive 60 points clear of his nearest rival having totally dominated the race from lights to flag. His dad, as proud yet mulletted as ever, turned to his son and smiled.
"I gonna be bike champion!" said Casey.
"For God's sake Casey!" bellowed his father "Four years in an Australian private school and you can't say anything else?"
"The….cat…eerrr…sat….on…errr…on….thee-err…mat?"
"Much better."
Okay so I'm padding. But else can I do? The Brno race, unlike the 125 race, was duller than Pedrosa's haircut.
Stoner won…again. It was a brilliant display of dominance…again. The cocky Australian is all but mathematically the 2008 champion. And deservedly so. Valentino Rossi and crew can cry all they want about the unfairness of the new fair tyre rule but the fact is that the Australian has just been better than everyone else all season - by a considerable margin.
Second place, and his best finish to date, went to MGPN's favourite hoodie John 'Hooligan' Hopkins. The Angro-American was the only rider able to even dare push Stoner but found himself, unlike the time in the bar earlier with the guy with the moustache, fighting a losing battle.
It was a inspired ride that leaves his violent grin fourth in the championship and wondering how's he's on equal points with his team-mate despite beating him 8-4 and out qualifying him 9-3.
If we called it AllMotorcycleDiscussionAllTheTimeAndQuiteossiblyTh eBestSiteOnTheInternetForMototorcycleRrelatedNewsInformationAndWhatsHot.org , you’d probably forget what you looking for. But we didn’t, and it’s all here www.motorcycleaddicts.org, feed YOUR addiction today.
With his plough back in fine working order and his troughs sorted the ex-cultivation World Champion Nicky Hayden is finally reaping the seeds he's sown. A relatively unnoticed third gave the inbred star his third third in four races - the kind of non-winning consistency that slow-cooked him the title last season. Top Michelin finisher too.
Pedrosa was fourth. A boring result, from a boring rider with a boring haircut in a boring race.
At least the playground scuffle for fifth gave us some visuals to help fight off the all too inevitable boredom-induced coma. It was the battle of league two: Capirossi, Rossi, Vermin and De Puniet all scrapped from the moment the red lights (and the viewer's attention) went out.
Leading the earlier stages was Capirossi - a rider who's overshadowed in several ways. Behind Leaky was Valentino Rossi who once again was looking as likely to make an amazing comeback as Alberto Puig's real hair.
Time for some Italian cheating? Yes please! Capirossi, noting that Rossi was struggling to get past him and having absolutely no loyalty to Ducati waved his mate Valentino through believing that the yellow Italian would blast off into the distance and thank him later with a romantic pasta meal for two.
But cheating never pays - as a soon-to-be-broke Rossi himself would testify. Having let the vagabond ex-champion through Little Cheat Loris found that Rossi's tyres had turned to seepage and suddenly the stinking 46 was slowing him down. This gave Vermeulen all the opportunity he needed to mole his way past both multi-cheating Italians and claim fifth. Shove that in your carbonara.
Everyone else finished somewhere else.
Other winners included Sylvain Guintoli and simple Toni Elias.
With one seat still available at Tech 3 Yamaha Guintoli has found himself vying for the position with the teeth of Colin Edwards. The Frenchman needed to make Colin look average this weekend and did so by emailing a PDF of the American's results to Herve. After that he then went on to set the fastest time in second practice with the aid of some super soft Dunlop qualifiers - a tyre designed to give maximum grip for one lap then fall to pieces unlike their race tyre that gives average grip for one lap then falls to pieces.
In the race the plucky frog was as high as ninth battling hard with riders with real tyres. Eventually Sylvain had to settle for a disappointing thirteenth with his tyres proving to be as useful as a 'beginners guide to hand shadows' to Alex Hofmann.
Fat Toni? Off-track excursions, wide lines, an amazing style and every bit as barmy as ever. It's good to see him back. And it's great to know that the doctors didn't have time to inject him with any common sense.
Losers.
Colin Edwards' first lap crash wasn't very clever. Even worse the American blamed his tyres - which was very disappointing. In the good old days Colin could dream up some great excuses without jumping on the bandwagon. Foggy would shudder in his million pound Petronas funded house extension if he'd have heard such a weak excuse being used.
Shinners Nakano. What's happened to him? In true Edwards style the J.a.P rider claimed before the race that he was ready to fight up front now he'd taken shipment of the latest Honda parts. Instead the once highly rated star finished a minute off the pace.
Tamada was pretty rubbish too.
But the biggest loser of the day was you. Or it was if you watched the race. That time could have been spent doing something more interesting like de-crusting the toilet or hand-cutting the grass. Shame on you - you're worse than Tamada.
1. Casey Stoner AUS Ducati Marlboro Team (
2. John Hopkins USA Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
3. Nicky Hayden USA Repsol Honda Team (M) 43min 58.910 secs
4. Dani Pedrosa SPA Repsol Honda Team (M) 44min 1.610 secs
5. Chris Vermeulen AUS Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
6. Loris Capirossi ITA Ducati Marlboro Team (
7. Valentino Rossi ITA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 44min 8.295 secs
8. Randy de Puniet FRA Kawasaki Racing Team (
9. Alex Barros BRA Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
10. Carlos Checa SPA Honda LCR (M) 44min 20.963 secs
11. Toni Elias SPA Honda Gresini (
12. Anthony West AUS Kawasaki Racing Team (
13. Sylvain Guintoli FRA Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 44min 29.504 secs
14. Shinya Nakano JPN Konica Minolta Honda (M) 44min 42.879 secs
15. Kurtis Roberts USA Team Roberts (M) 44min 55.413 secs
16. Ivan Silva SPA Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
17. Makoto Tamada JPN Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 45min 11.614 secs
DNF:
Colin Edwards USA Fiat Yamaha Team (M)5min 25.074 secs ("it was the tyre's fault…")
Okay so that was weak, but I had little to go on.
