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Round 10: Sachsenring
(10/07/2007)
Ah the Germans - podium finishers in both World Wars. Y'know it can't be easy being a Kraut, everyone hates them because:-
You turn your back and they're kicking off again - bombing Poland and starting fights they can't finish.
They have dubious moustaches and appear on 'Eurotrash' far too often. And that's just the women.
They own and respect Michael Schumacher - and he walks with a leading chin.
They build brilliantly engineered cars yet motorcycles that look as if they were designed by HR Giger.
They cultivated Boris Becker - the thinking man's Walt Disney
They have a deep fascination with sausages and short trousers that just about steps over the line of 'a bit of fun' leaving non-Krauts laughing nervously and feeling a little uneasy.
Luckily we at MGPN don't stereotype nations, not like the war-shy smelly French, and so we're giving the humourless sour-Krauts a big thumbs up. They're okay! Alright, so they have had a problematic childhood, but now they've developed into a fine nation…once you overlook the weird sexual habits and cannibalism.
Motorsport is not really Germany's 'thing'. That would be ..... But for the motorsport fans in Krautenland it's been a tough few years. At one time they could hold their lederhosen up proud and arrogantly as Michael Schumacher twatted everyone before him with his unique blend of speed and cheating. But, eventually, the Chin went stale. He lost his speed and his cheating got punished. What about Michael's younger brother Ralf - surely he would take over once Michael retired? Once season of F1 for Ralf proved he was as much a future champion as Hitler was an excellent foreign ambassador.
In German MotoGP terms the sausage of success has been even more withered with their only real entry being Alex Hofmann. For the past few years Alex, just like the Scottish, has been regarded as a novelty act of little real importance. The usual routine would be for Von Hoffers to turn up, crash in some stupid way (like trying to show off in the pitlane to a Portuguese butcher) and have a few races off through his injuries.
But this season things have been slightly different as Alex hasn't been all that rubbish. Some would argue it's because the d'Antin Ducati has vastly improved. That's definitely true. Last year's d'Antin bike was monster engine loosely fastened to the road by some crappy tyres - giving the cheeky riders plenty of scope for a romantic one-on-one date with the air fence.
But baldy d'Antin's Duke is far better this season. It has top spec Bridgestone boots and up until a few weeks ago was basically a full factory spec machine. But let's give Hoffers some credit - he's doing alright. He's as much chance of being a champion as Ralf does - but, unlike Schumacher LT, Alex seems to be improving and could one day soon land a podium.
All of which means the Germans might have something to get excited about - if you can stomach that thought. Chances are Hoffers will fall whilst over performing (see: the French at Le Mans) but for the first time since the abolition of the Berlin wall the Krauts may have a motorcycle rider to efficiently cheer about.
Onto the race and the actual winner is impossible to predict. The Sachsenring is on purposely tight and twisty to allow the spectators a chance to both follow the action and chew on their Kockenworst simultaneously without breaching any health and safety regulations. This, in theory, should suit the nimble Yamaha of Rossi over his rival Stoner on the Ducati. But then again in theory Edwards should have been kicked back into Superbikes ages ago.
One rider who will be hoping he's regained his touch (all of which, this time, has nothing to do with his cousin) is the Kentucky farmer Nicky Hayden. Up until Assen the wilting Haystack had been rubbish exporting a list of excuses longer than the queue to leave Waterstone's on hearing Foggy's doing a book signing. But a podium last time out maybe signals a fight back. Another podium? Maybe. That would surely give the Kentuckians a way to be happy without resorting to using their marijuana.
Up until the point where Hofmann's team-mate Barros beat Stoner to the podium. After that the d'Antin bikes were taken away by the factory Ducati boys and slightly downgraded with the aid of a large metal stick and some rocks.
Taken from Ducati's 'most technical tools' section.
Round 10: Sachsenring
(10/07/2007)
Ah the Germans - podium finishers in both World Wars. Y'know it can't be easy being a Kraut, everyone hates them because:-
You turn your back and they're kicking off again - bombing Poland and starting fights they can't finish.
They have dubious moustaches and appear on 'Eurotrash' far too often. And that's just the women.
They own and respect Michael Schumacher - and he walks with a leading chin.
They build brilliantly engineered cars yet motorcycles that look as if they were designed by HR Giger.
They cultivated Boris Becker - the thinking man's Walt Disney
They have a deep fascination with sausages and short trousers that just about steps over the line of 'a bit of fun' leaving non-Krauts laughing nervously and feeling a little uneasy.
Luckily we at MGPN don't stereotype nations, not like the war-shy smelly French, and so we're giving the humourless sour-Krauts a big thumbs up. They're okay! Alright, so they have had a problematic childhood, but now they've developed into a fine nation…once you overlook the weird sexual habits and cannibalism.
Motorsport is not really Germany's 'thing'. That would be ..... But for the motorsport fans in Krautenland it's been a tough few years. At one time they could hold their lederhosen up proud and arrogantly as Michael Schumacher twatted everyone before him with his unique blend of speed and cheating. But, eventually, the Chin went stale. He lost his speed and his cheating got punished. What about Michael's younger brother Ralf - surely he would take over once Michael retired? Once season of F1 for Ralf proved he was as much a future champion as Hitler was an excellent foreign ambassador.
In German MotoGP terms the sausage of success has been even more withered with their only real entry being Alex Hofmann. For the past few years Alex, just like the Scottish, has been regarded as a novelty act of little real importance. The usual routine would be for Von Hoffers to turn up, crash in some stupid way (like trying to show off in the pitlane to a Portuguese butcher) and have a few races off through his injuries.
But this season things have been slightly different as Alex hasn't been all that rubbish. Some would argue it's because the d'Antin Ducati has vastly improved. That's definitely true. Last year's d'Antin bike was monster engine loosely fastened to the road by some crappy tyres - giving the cheeky riders plenty of scope for a romantic one-on-one date with the air fence.
But baldy d'Antin's Duke is far better this season. It has top spec Bridgestone boots and up until a few weeks ago was basically a full factory spec machine. But let's give Hoffers some credit - he's doing alright. He's as much chance of being a champion as Ralf does - but, unlike Schumacher LT, Alex seems to be improving and could one day soon land a podium.
All of which means the Germans might have something to get excited about - if you can stomach that thought. Chances are Hoffers will fall whilst over performing (see: the French at Le Mans) but for the first time since the abolition of the Berlin wall the Krauts may have a motorcycle rider to efficiently cheer about.
Onto the race and the actual winner is impossible to predict. The Sachsenring is on purposely tight and twisty to allow the spectators a chance to both follow the action and chew on their Kockenworst simultaneously without breaching any health and safety regulations. This, in theory, should suit the nimble Yamaha of Rossi over his rival Stoner on the Ducati. But then again in theory Edwards should have been kicked back into Superbikes ages ago.
One rider who will be hoping he's regained his touch (all of which, this time, has nothing to do with his cousin) is the Kentucky farmer Nicky Hayden. Up until Assen the wilting Haystack had been rubbish exporting a list of excuses longer than the queue to leave Waterstone's on hearing Foggy's doing a book signing. But a podium last time out maybe signals a fight back. Another podium? Maybe. That would surely give the Kentuckians a way to be happy without resorting to using their marijuana.
Up until the point where Hofmann's team-mate Barros beat Stoner to the podium. After that the d'Antin bikes were taken away by the factory Ducati boys and slightly downgraded with the aid of a large metal stick and some rocks.
Taken from Ducati's 'most technical tools' section.
