Joined Feb 2007
11K Posts | 2K+
Tennessee
Ha ha good one, but seriously, Morbidelli and Zarco were the main violators and lined up side by side, Zarco is busted within 30 seconds, Morbidelli 35 minutes. At some point common sense has to rear its ugly head when a rider from the second row is sitting next to the riders on the front row before the red goes out. I will go out on a limb and say they would have been safe with that one.
Joined Oct 2008
6K Posts | 5K+
In Cider
Joined Oct 2012
3K Posts | 725+
Crab Key
You might not like some of his decisions (and the Sepang comments plus the Moto2 fiasco are doozies), but I wouldn't characterise Webb as thick.
Ex racer, ex GP wildcarder, ex 500 mechanic, ex Team Rainey crew chief, ex Technical director....
Might be wound up tightly in the politics, it doesn't help that his employers are FIM *and* Dorna, but not a thicky.
Dunno if that makes it better or worse...
Joined Oct 2006
445 Posts | 43+
Adelaide, Australia
Since the Top Ten Guide has lost its privileged pinned status (oh noes! what a tragedy… errr, not really, I've been expecting it almost from the moment Frosty58 first pinned the thread, way back in the mists of time; especially since I now write an average of 1.5 entries per year) and been closed I'm reduced to slumming it here in the Moto2 sub-forum…
An open letter to Mike Webb,
Dear Mike,
Congratulations. You've made us pine for the salad days of Paul-random-penalties-generator-Butler. That's quite an achievement.
While I'm sure you're busy lining up fences at each circuit to sit on in 2016, and devising strategies aimed at making decisions as faux-complex, obtuse and prevaricating as possible, I hope you can spare a moment of your time with these simple questions:
Are you ....... incompetent or just incompetent? Are you a ....... ...... or just a ......? Perhaps, you're just a ....... incompetent ......? [Side note: how do you .... incompetently, Mike? A note of caution, dear readers: do not 'develop' that mental picture.]
"Must be seen at 500fps" is not written in the rulebook, but then again, neither are the phrases "use common sense," "be fair and impartial" or "consistently apply rules to all" so I suppose I'll have to let that one slide.
What are we to make of the red lights flickering, but not actually flickering, Mike? Are HJC helmets spec in Moto2? Are there too many mosquitos at night in Losail?
Is "technical issue" code for: a) I pushed the wrong button, b) I forgot to push a button, c) I couldn't find the right ....... button to push, or d) I spent 30 minutes in vain trying to push my own buttons (i.e. having an incompetent ....)?
All this is bad enough, but Mike… oh, dear [redacted] Valentino, Mike… these quotes in your, ahem, "explanation" leave me speechless:
"A jump start is defined as moving forward at the moment the red lights go out…"
"All of the jump starts penalised in Qatar were that standard 'matter of fact', moving forward when the red lights go out."
What?!? What the ....? What the ....... ....? What the absolute ....... .... are you on about?
The moment the red lights go out, if you're moving… it's a jump start? How galactically ....... stupid is that? News flash, genius: lights are either on or off (out). If they're on… you wait. If they're out… you ....... well go, and go like the clappers; as Valentino would say, that's racing, Casey. If you can't move when the red lights are out, when the .... can you move?
Seriously, I can't even…
Yours sincerely,
Custard-free MotoGP fan.
Postscript:
It was as this point, dear readers, when I paused to consider that the esteemed Mr. Webb perhaps meant to say the magic word: before in his little explanation. As in, "A jump start is defined as moving forward before the red lights go out…"
Alas, a quick check of that farcical document: the Dorna cabal, in conjunction with FIM productions, presents MotoGP 2016 'This is how we feel today' (a.k.a. the FIM ROAD RACING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP GRAND PRIX REGULATIONS 2016) revealed that:
1.18.14 The motorcycle must be stationary at the time the red lights are turned off. Anticipation of the start is defined by the motorcycle moving forward at the time the red lights are turned off.
In the quiet words of the virgin Mary: come again?
How do the riders know when the lights are turned off? Should there be a big screen at the front of the grid with a close-up of Mike's fat little fingers flicking the switch?
Considering further, this must actually be supposed to mean: the red lights are 'turned off' by said fat little fingers, initiating a process (which takes between 2 – 5 seconds) and then the actual light bulbs go out and riders are allowed to roar off from the grid. But why the .... would you not spell that out clearly in the bloody rule book?
Why not say:
1.18.14 The motorcycle must remain stationary at the time the red lights are turned ON. Anticipation of the start is defined by the motorcycle moving forward AT ANY TIME THE RED LIGHTS ARE VISIBLE. [When the red lights come on the starting sequence is initialised and those lights will go out after a random interval of between 2 and 5 seconds.]
Oh well, ranting at Mike Webb for making nonsensical statements defining a jump start as moving after the red lights have gone out is much more fun; aggrieved Moto2 riders might even find it cathartic…
An open letter to Mike Webb,
Dear Mike,
Congratulations. You've made us pine for the salad days of Paul-random-penalties-generator-Butler. That's quite an achievement.
While I'm sure you're busy lining up fences at each circuit to sit on in 2016, and devising strategies aimed at making decisions as faux-complex, obtuse and prevaricating as possible, I hope you can spare a moment of your time with these simple questions:
Are you ....... incompetent or just incompetent? Are you a ....... ...... or just a ......? Perhaps, you're just a ....... incompetent ......? [Side note: how do you .... incompetently, Mike? A note of caution, dear readers: do not 'develop' that mental picture.]
"Must be seen at 500fps" is not written in the rulebook, but then again, neither are the phrases "use common sense," "be fair and impartial" or "consistently apply rules to all" so I suppose I'll have to let that one slide.
What are we to make of the red lights flickering, but not actually flickering, Mike? Are HJC helmets spec in Moto2? Are there too many mosquitos at night in Losail?
Is "technical issue" code for: a) I pushed the wrong button, b) I forgot to push a button, c) I couldn't find the right ....... button to push, or d) I spent 30 minutes in vain trying to push my own buttons (i.e. having an incompetent ....)?
All this is bad enough, but Mike… oh, dear [redacted] Valentino, Mike… these quotes in your, ahem, "explanation" leave me speechless:
"A jump start is defined as moving forward at the moment the red lights go out…"
"All of the jump starts penalised in Qatar were that standard 'matter of fact', moving forward when the red lights go out."
What?!? What the ....? What the ....... ....? What the absolute ....... .... are you on about?
The moment the red lights go out, if you're moving… it's a jump start? How galactically ....... stupid is that? News flash, genius: lights are either on or off (out). If they're on… you wait. If they're out… you ....... well go, and go like the clappers; as Valentino would say, that's racing, Casey. If you can't move when the red lights are out, when the .... can you move?
Seriously, I can't even…
Yours sincerely,
Custard-free MotoGP fan.
Postscript:
It was as this point, dear readers, when I paused to consider that the esteemed Mr. Webb perhaps meant to say the magic word: before in his little explanation. As in, "A jump start is defined as moving forward before the red lights go out…"
Alas, a quick check of that farcical document: the Dorna cabal, in conjunction with FIM productions, presents MotoGP 2016 'This is how we feel today' (a.k.a. the FIM ROAD RACING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP GRAND PRIX REGULATIONS 2016) revealed that:
1.18.14 The motorcycle must be stationary at the time the red lights are turned off. Anticipation of the start is defined by the motorcycle moving forward at the time the red lights are turned off.
In the quiet words of the virgin Mary: come again?
How do the riders know when the lights are turned off? Should there be a big screen at the front of the grid with a close-up of Mike's fat little fingers flicking the switch?
Considering further, this must actually be supposed to mean: the red lights are 'turned off' by said fat little fingers, initiating a process (which takes between 2 – 5 seconds) and then the actual light bulbs go out and riders are allowed to roar off from the grid. But why the .... would you not spell that out clearly in the bloody rule book?
Why not say:
1.18.14 The motorcycle must remain stationary at the time the red lights are turned ON. Anticipation of the start is defined by the motorcycle moving forward AT ANY TIME THE RED LIGHTS ARE VISIBLE. [When the red lights come on the starting sequence is initialised and those lights will go out after a random interval of between 2 and 5 seconds.]
Oh well, ranting at Mike Webb for making nonsensical statements defining a jump start as moving after the red lights have gone out is much more fun; aggrieved Moto2 riders might even find it cathartic…
