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MotoGP Race Report, Shanghai
Commi Casey Makes Rossi see red
(06/05/2007)
Now everyone loves the underdog. And everybody wants the underdog to win. It all started way back when they were first drafting up ideas for the bible when, legend has it, the mighty Goliath picked a fight with the local squirt David. The wise money was on Goliath to take the victory. He was a giant for a start and had a very menacing club along with his aggressive nature and bad haircut. If he’d have lived these days he’d have been an Australian. David on the other hand was a wuss and collected pressed flowers – on paper he looked as attacking as a French civil war. The local villagers knew that David would lose and get his head stoved in but cheered him on anyway because he was the underdog. The rest is history. David got lucky and twated Goliath between his peepers with a rock – the giant’s weak spot (that said who’s ‘strong spot’ is between their eyes?) Down the mighty Goliath fell to the roar of the crowd. Not only did the giant dirty his best trousers in the fall but for the rest of his life he was mocked by his mates down the pub for being duffed up by the local nancy boy.
So we all love to see the underdog win, right? Wrong. It’s not the underdog winning that makes us smile but the sick pleasure we get from knowing how stupid and small the ‘overdog’ must be feeling. It makes us feel better about our crappy lives.
The Shanghai MotoGP race did our sick self-esteem a shed load of good as, for the third time this year, the underdogs won again. First of all we have Ducati. The basil stained team have absolutely no right whatsoever to beat the mighty Jap teams. The Japanese are methodical learners and have budgets that would put Hopkins’ dental bill to shame. In theory a bunch of odorous pasta monkeys working out of a glorified tool shed should never build a better bike than the mighty Japs.
And then we have Casey Stoner. He’s an Australian and has no right to be the best in the world at any sport that doesn’t require physical violence, hitting things, drinking or, preferably, all three. But he is leading the championship with an awesome three wins from four starts – you may think he’s a gobby little .... but you can’t argue that on current form he’s the best rider in MotoGP.
So, again, the underdogs won. Take that Japan – how do you like them apples? Rubbing salt into the already soya packed wounds for HRC is that despite concocting this noodle crazy 800cc ruling it’s them who are left looking dafter than a Team Roberts sponsor. HRC’s best finisher, the micro-melancholy mechaniod Pedrosa, finished a distant fourth looking rubbish compared to the Ducati. But it’s rude to laugh. Right?
Unlike last time’s walk in the Turkish Billabong, Stoner did have to work for his win. Crumbling ex-champion Valentino Rossi was determined not to let the convict escape this time out but in the end had no answer to Casey’s abilities and Ducati’s speed. A Randytastic finish for Rossi sees the Italian stay second in the championship but now trails the chains of Stoner by 15 points. Coo!
Now Hooligan John Hopkins has broken many things in his life – bones, noses annoying inanimate objects to name but a few. But this time it was Hooligan’s turn to break something of his own – his duck. After several seasons of gutsy performances and close calls the Anglo-American (as us English love to call him when he does well) claimed his first podium finish. Better still for Hoppers it was done so at nobody’s expense – there were no ‘lucky Hayden’ fallers in front of the Suzuki rider, instead John was just very fast. Restoring the equilibrium in John’s life were his sunglasses – they were awful. Petronas-like awful.
Thumbelina finished fourth with the Marco Random Number Generator (MRNG) throwing up a surprising low number four – possibly assisted by the new engine parts he ordered from HRC to help stop Elias beating him.
“I’m back” claimed Capirossi last time out in Magic Carpetland. Indeed he is. Back to looking slow compared to Stoner. Sixth place was the miniature Italian’s result.
So, who wasn’t too clever?
In both senses of the word step forward MGPN’s favourite Toni Elias. Now Fat Toni had a point to prove in Shanghai. He was labelled by beefing Rossi as being ‘dangerous’ in Turkey so the simple Spaniard put the world to rights by switching off his brain and causing a first turn ruckus.
Shanghai was never going to be a track for Elias – he doesn’t do straights or straight lines so it was with a heavy heart and a mind full of chorizo that Toni piled into the plough of farmer Hayden into the first corner. Toni hit the gravel, Hayden ploughed through the infield and the luckless Zombie Barros needed to pull off a ‘do or die (again)’ manoeuvre to avoid being taken out.
“Colin Edwards qualified well but his race pace was poor and the American drifted back to an anonymous midfield finish.” De ja vous anyone? I can almost type that without looking.
The Japanese teams may have had a poor day but the Japanese riders went one better. It was ‘Team Kamikaze’ all-round as, somewhere near the smog encrusted end of the field, Nakano, or was it Tamada?, dishonourably rammed off Makoto…or was it Shinya? Who the hell knows? The net-result however was a plethora of smashed bikes, angry little Japanese fellas and razor sharp carbon bamboo fragments at the end of the straight. The Chinese must have loved that.
But, worst of all, was poor Kenny McRoberts Junior. The American, who puts his belt on with a boomerang, finished dead last and never at anytime looked like loosing this position.
What’s happened to the ‘old head on fat shoulders’ Kenny of last year? The Kenny that silenced his critics who said he was slow and hard on the eye? Maybe the critics won’t have to eat their words after all?
Race Results: Round 4
1. Casey Stoner AUS Ducati Marlboro Team (
44min 12.891 secs
2. Valentino Rossi ITA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 44min 15.927 secs
3. John Hopkins USA Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
44min 19.554 secs
4. Dani Pedrosa SPA Repsol Honda Team (M) 44min 26.981 secs
5. Marco Melandri ITA Gresini Honda (
44min 30.167 secs
6. Loris Capirossi ITA Ducati Marlboro Team (
44min 39.147 secs
7. Chris Vermeulen AUS Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
44min 39.482 secs
8. Randy de Puniet FRA Kawasaki Racing Team (
44min 39.916 secs
9. Alex Hofmann GER Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
44min 40.999 secs
10. Carlos Checa SPA Honda LCR (M) 44min 45.848 secs
11. Colin Edwards USA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 44min 47.944 secs
12. Nicky Hayden USA Repsol Honda Team (M) 44min 50.218 secs
13. Sylvain Guintoli FRA Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 45min 3.596 secs
14. Alex Barros BRA Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
45min 8.155 secs
15. Kenny Roberts USA Team Roberts (M) 45min 10.627 secs
Did not finish:
DNF
Toni Elias SPA Gresini Honda (
Lap 1
Shinya Nakano JPN Konica Minolta Honda (M) 6min 11.246 secs
Makoto Tamada JPN Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 6min 11.956 secs
MotoGP Race Report, Shanghai
Commi Casey Makes Rossi see red
(06/05/2007)
Now everyone loves the underdog. And everybody wants the underdog to win. It all started way back when they were first drafting up ideas for the bible when, legend has it, the mighty Goliath picked a fight with the local squirt David. The wise money was on Goliath to take the victory. He was a giant for a start and had a very menacing club along with his aggressive nature and bad haircut. If he’d have lived these days he’d have been an Australian. David on the other hand was a wuss and collected pressed flowers – on paper he looked as attacking as a French civil war. The local villagers knew that David would lose and get his head stoved in but cheered him on anyway because he was the underdog. The rest is history. David got lucky and twated Goliath between his peepers with a rock – the giant’s weak spot (that said who’s ‘strong spot’ is between their eyes?) Down the mighty Goliath fell to the roar of the crowd. Not only did the giant dirty his best trousers in the fall but for the rest of his life he was mocked by his mates down the pub for being duffed up by the local nancy boy.
So we all love to see the underdog win, right? Wrong. It’s not the underdog winning that makes us smile but the sick pleasure we get from knowing how stupid and small the ‘overdog’ must be feeling. It makes us feel better about our crappy lives.
The Shanghai MotoGP race did our sick self-esteem a shed load of good as, for the third time this year, the underdogs won again. First of all we have Ducati. The basil stained team have absolutely no right whatsoever to beat the mighty Jap teams. The Japanese are methodical learners and have budgets that would put Hopkins’ dental bill to shame. In theory a bunch of odorous pasta monkeys working out of a glorified tool shed should never build a better bike than the mighty Japs.
And then we have Casey Stoner. He’s an Australian and has no right to be the best in the world at any sport that doesn’t require physical violence, hitting things, drinking or, preferably, all three. But he is leading the championship with an awesome three wins from four starts – you may think he’s a gobby little .... but you can’t argue that on current form he’s the best rider in MotoGP.
So, again, the underdogs won. Take that Japan – how do you like them apples? Rubbing salt into the already soya packed wounds for HRC is that despite concocting this noodle crazy 800cc ruling it’s them who are left looking dafter than a Team Roberts sponsor. HRC’s best finisher, the micro-melancholy mechaniod Pedrosa, finished a distant fourth looking rubbish compared to the Ducati. But it’s rude to laugh. Right?
Unlike last time’s walk in the Turkish Billabong, Stoner did have to work for his win. Crumbling ex-champion Valentino Rossi was determined not to let the convict escape this time out but in the end had no answer to Casey’s abilities and Ducati’s speed. A Randytastic finish for Rossi sees the Italian stay second in the championship but now trails the chains of Stoner by 15 points. Coo!
Now Hooligan John Hopkins has broken many things in his life – bones, noses annoying inanimate objects to name but a few. But this time it was Hooligan’s turn to break something of his own – his duck. After several seasons of gutsy performances and close calls the Anglo-American (as us English love to call him when he does well) claimed his first podium finish. Better still for Hoppers it was done so at nobody’s expense – there were no ‘lucky Hayden’ fallers in front of the Suzuki rider, instead John was just very fast. Restoring the equilibrium in John’s life were his sunglasses – they were awful. Petronas-like awful.
Thumbelina finished fourth with the Marco Random Number Generator (MRNG) throwing up a surprising low number four – possibly assisted by the new engine parts he ordered from HRC to help stop Elias beating him.
“I’m back” claimed Capirossi last time out in Magic Carpetland. Indeed he is. Back to looking slow compared to Stoner. Sixth place was the miniature Italian’s result.
So, who wasn’t too clever?
In both senses of the word step forward MGPN’s favourite Toni Elias. Now Fat Toni had a point to prove in Shanghai. He was labelled by beefing Rossi as being ‘dangerous’ in Turkey so the simple Spaniard put the world to rights by switching off his brain and causing a first turn ruckus.
Shanghai was never going to be a track for Elias – he doesn’t do straights or straight lines so it was with a heavy heart and a mind full of chorizo that Toni piled into the plough of farmer Hayden into the first corner. Toni hit the gravel, Hayden ploughed through the infield and the luckless Zombie Barros needed to pull off a ‘do or die (again)’ manoeuvre to avoid being taken out.
“Colin Edwards qualified well but his race pace was poor and the American drifted back to an anonymous midfield finish.” De ja vous anyone? I can almost type that without looking.
The Japanese teams may have had a poor day but the Japanese riders went one better. It was ‘Team Kamikaze’ all-round as, somewhere near the smog encrusted end of the field, Nakano, or was it Tamada?, dishonourably rammed off Makoto…or was it Shinya? Who the hell knows? The net-result however was a plethora of smashed bikes, angry little Japanese fellas and razor sharp carbon bamboo fragments at the end of the straight. The Chinese must have loved that.
But, worst of all, was poor Kenny McRoberts Junior. The American, who puts his belt on with a boomerang, finished dead last and never at anytime looked like loosing this position.
What’s happened to the ‘old head on fat shoulders’ Kenny of last year? The Kenny that silenced his critics who said he was slow and hard on the eye? Maybe the critics won’t have to eat their words after all?
Race Results: Round 4
1. Casey Stoner AUS Ducati Marlboro Team (
2. Valentino Rossi ITA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 44min 15.927 secs
3. John Hopkins USA Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
4. Dani Pedrosa SPA Repsol Honda Team (M) 44min 26.981 secs
5. Marco Melandri ITA Gresini Honda (
6. Loris Capirossi ITA Ducati Marlboro Team (
7. Chris Vermeulen AUS Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
8. Randy de Puniet FRA Kawasaki Racing Team (
9. Alex Hofmann GER Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
10. Carlos Checa SPA Honda LCR (M) 44min 45.848 secs
11. Colin Edwards USA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 44min 47.944 secs
12. Nicky Hayden USA Repsol Honda Team (M) 44min 50.218 secs
13. Sylvain Guintoli FRA Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 45min 3.596 secs
14. Alex Barros BRA Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
15. Kenny Roberts USA Team Roberts (M) 45min 10.627 secs
Did not finish:
DNF
Toni Elias SPA Gresini Honda (
Shinya Nakano JPN Konica Minolta Honda (M) 6min 11.246 secs
Makoto Tamada JPN Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 6min 11.956 secs
