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MotoGP Race Report, Catalunya
Tasty Stoner proves championship is on the menu
(12/06/2007)
Cataluyna Menu
Premier course
Mature porchetta ham, marinated in lager with miniature meatballs and a side order of freedom fries
Our finest dish that skilfully combines fresh with mature and mild with strong flavours to give a taste that anyone will enjoy.
Valentino Rossi, Casey Stoner, Dani Pedrosa and John Hopkins - arguably MotoGP's finest ingredients were all at Barcelona cooking on gas.
The race started like all MotoGP's of 2007 with Hopkins and Rossi sparring up and knocking great lumps out of each other in the opening bends. In the same way that an Aussie will knock his Sheila about a bit before going on a real bender Rossi and Hopkins feel it necessary to get in the racing mood . You can tell the Hooligan loves it as his day-glow grin penetrated through the odour clouds of the yellow ex-champion.
Once the pairing had completed their ritual they headed for the leaders, Stoner and Pedrosa, to see what the youngsters were up to.
The Hopkins side order was the first consumed as the Angro-American's ...-paper Suzuki just lacked the final 5% in the closing laps to keep it with the trio ahead. But no one could begrudge Hoppers (except the guy with the moustache he met whilst 'tipsy' on Thursday) as he clearly eased the best from clearly the worst coloured bike.
The three upfront were going for it, and not even the majestic words here at MotoGP News could do the race justice. The bowels of the situation were that Stoner could pass Rossi down the straight forcing the curly Italian no choice but aggressively attack him back through the intestines of the circuit. The yellow Yam rider did his best to break Stoner but the fleeing convict kept tight within Rossi's famed 'odour zone' as if his beer allowance depended on it.
Meanwhile dishy Dani was proving a little tasteless in this recipe struggling with his bravery setup. The crowd wanted to taste Spanish success but Thumbelina's braking compared to the other three would see him unable to fight for top honours leaving his fans hungry.
And so, as we've tasted before, it would be Stoner and Rossi left on the final plate. In the past, when Rossi would battle with Jester Gibernau, you could bet Doohan's last dollar that the Italian smellmonger would pressure the Spaniard into a crash. Hair gel, gravel and laughter would be the order of the day. But not now. As our laughter lines decreased and de-creased we were left to watch Stoner soak up the pressure and fend off that no good Rossi by a fraction of second to take his finest victory to date. Go Australia!
Premier Appetiser
Battered frog's legs
We take the plumpest, juiciest, most swollen French frog's legs then marinade them in aspirin for 48 hours.
It's been a tough and unrewarding season so far for Randy de Puniet. It all started going wrong a long time ago when, with the aid of a puppet show and a white flag, his parents explained to him he was French and all the crying in the world wouldn't change the fact. Despite this Randy has been on the verge of greatness several times this season only for it all to grind to a halt like the Calais ferryport.
Initial signs for the Kwakstar didn't look good after a spill in practice left the already bruised Frenchie hobbling around at a garlic snail's pace with a knee the size of a fishing village - so his second position in qualifying (beaten only by Rossi) was shocking enough to even wake up the siesta-specialist Spanish crowd.
Race day saw Randy's complexion match his Kawasaki's livery with the Frenchman clearly in total agony as his crew chipped him onto his bike. Few expected him to last the race. Even fewer, possibly no one, expected him to finish in a superb fifth position and give Kawasaki their best result of the year. But he did.
A remarkable feat by De Puniet that surely elevates him to France's bravest hero ever…from a shortlist of none.
Family Favourite
Mixed Platter
A basic combination of once-fresh ingredients that can taste brilliant some days. One for the risk-takers.
Following the Crazy Frog home were the slightly overshadowed foursome of Capirossi, Vermin, Barros and Melandri.
The stale performance of leaky Loris was put down to a bad qualifying combined with his worry for his pregnant hamster and nothing at all to do with staying up past his bedtime to take midnight calls from Kawasaki.
Vermin cited the weather as his problem and Max Melandri blamed some something …or someone…or lots of things and people.
Junk food
American cheese fritter
We have taken the finest American cheese and allowed it rest until it develops a distinct brown hue and putrid smell, then we deep fry it. Served with the 'excuse dip' of the day.
Nicky Hayden: Current MotoGP World Champion. Colin Edwards: Former Superbike World Champion. Kenny Roberts Junior: Former GP World Champion. There's bucket loads of talent there you'll all agree but sadly on the Cataluyna menu there were only 'pass the bucket' like performances.
After poor Colin had bigged himself up mid week it seemed almost inevitable that he'd fail worse than Pedrosa as a stand-up comedian. By being disappointing he didn't disappoint.
Off the Menu
Garlic snail and Chorizo Surprise.
The management regretfully announce that the Garlic Snail is unavailable today and the Chorizo has expired.
Finally it was bad luck for poor simple Toni Elias who not only brilliantly rides the crappiest Honda of all but found, whilst in a strong fifth, it is also the most unreliable too. Slow and unreliable? Is it a Honda or a Royal Enfield?
1. Casey Stoner AUS Ducati Marlboro Team (
43min 16.907 secs
2. Valentino Rossi ITA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 43min 16.976 secs
3. Dani Pedrosa SPA Repsol Honda Team (M) 43min 17.297 secs
4. John Hopkins USA Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
43min 24.721 secs
5. Randy de Puniet FRA Kawasaki Racing Team (
43min 34.760 secs
6. Loris Capirossi ITA Ducati Marlboro Team (
43min 36.316 secs
7. Chris Vermeulen AUS Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
43min 36.402 secs
8. Alex Barros BRA Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
43min 41.769 secs
9. Marco Melandri ITA Gresini Honda (
43min 41.870 secs
10. Colin Edwards USA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 43min 52.255 secs
11. Nicky Hayden USA Repsol Honda Team (M) 43min 53.208 secs
12. Makoto Tamada JPN Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 43min 55.627 secs
13. Alex Hofmann GER Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
43min 57.841 secs
14. Sylvain Guintoli FRA Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 44min 1.306 secs
15. Shinya Nakano JPN Konica Minolta Honda (M) 44min 11.100 secs
16. Kenny Roberts USA Team Roberts (M) 44min 16.562 secs
17. Carlos Checa SPA Honda LCR (M) 44min 19.222 secs
18. Kurtis Roberts USA Team Roberts (M) 44min 20.229 secs
DNF:
Toni Elias SPA Gresini Honda (B)24min 23.184 secs (His crap Honda turned crappier)
DNS:
Olivier Jacque FRA Kawasaki Racing Team (
(The Prost mafia strike again)
MotoGP Race Report, Catalunya
Tasty Stoner proves championship is on the menu
(12/06/2007)
Cataluyna Menu
Premier course
Mature porchetta ham, marinated in lager with miniature meatballs and a side order of freedom fries
Our finest dish that skilfully combines fresh with mature and mild with strong flavours to give a taste that anyone will enjoy.
Valentino Rossi, Casey Stoner, Dani Pedrosa and John Hopkins - arguably MotoGP's finest ingredients were all at Barcelona cooking on gas.
The race started like all MotoGP's of 2007 with Hopkins and Rossi sparring up and knocking great lumps out of each other in the opening bends. In the same way that an Aussie will knock his Sheila about a bit before going on a real bender Rossi and Hopkins feel it necessary to get in the racing mood . You can tell the Hooligan loves it as his day-glow grin penetrated through the odour clouds of the yellow ex-champion.
Once the pairing had completed their ritual they headed for the leaders, Stoner and Pedrosa, to see what the youngsters were up to.
The Hopkins side order was the first consumed as the Angro-American's ...-paper Suzuki just lacked the final 5% in the closing laps to keep it with the trio ahead. But no one could begrudge Hoppers (except the guy with the moustache he met whilst 'tipsy' on Thursday) as he clearly eased the best from clearly the worst coloured bike.
The three upfront were going for it, and not even the majestic words here at MotoGP News could do the race justice. The bowels of the situation were that Stoner could pass Rossi down the straight forcing the curly Italian no choice but aggressively attack him back through the intestines of the circuit. The yellow Yam rider did his best to break Stoner but the fleeing convict kept tight within Rossi's famed 'odour zone' as if his beer allowance depended on it.
Meanwhile dishy Dani was proving a little tasteless in this recipe struggling with his bravery setup. The crowd wanted to taste Spanish success but Thumbelina's braking compared to the other three would see him unable to fight for top honours leaving his fans hungry.
And so, as we've tasted before, it would be Stoner and Rossi left on the final plate. In the past, when Rossi would battle with Jester Gibernau, you could bet Doohan's last dollar that the Italian smellmonger would pressure the Spaniard into a crash. Hair gel, gravel and laughter would be the order of the day. But not now. As our laughter lines decreased and de-creased we were left to watch Stoner soak up the pressure and fend off that no good Rossi by a fraction of second to take his finest victory to date. Go Australia!
Premier Appetiser
Battered frog's legs
We take the plumpest, juiciest, most swollen French frog's legs then marinade them in aspirin for 48 hours.
It's been a tough and unrewarding season so far for Randy de Puniet. It all started going wrong a long time ago when, with the aid of a puppet show and a white flag, his parents explained to him he was French and all the crying in the world wouldn't change the fact. Despite this Randy has been on the verge of greatness several times this season only for it all to grind to a halt like the Calais ferryport.
Initial signs for the Kwakstar didn't look good after a spill in practice left the already bruised Frenchie hobbling around at a garlic snail's pace with a knee the size of a fishing village - so his second position in qualifying (beaten only by Rossi) was shocking enough to even wake up the siesta-specialist Spanish crowd.
Race day saw Randy's complexion match his Kawasaki's livery with the Frenchman clearly in total agony as his crew chipped him onto his bike. Few expected him to last the race. Even fewer, possibly no one, expected him to finish in a superb fifth position and give Kawasaki their best result of the year. But he did.
A remarkable feat by De Puniet that surely elevates him to France's bravest hero ever…from a shortlist of none.
Family Favourite
Mixed Platter
A basic combination of once-fresh ingredients that can taste brilliant some days. One for the risk-takers.
Following the Crazy Frog home were the slightly overshadowed foursome of Capirossi, Vermin, Barros and Melandri.
The stale performance of leaky Loris was put down to a bad qualifying combined with his worry for his pregnant hamster and nothing at all to do with staying up past his bedtime to take midnight calls from Kawasaki.
Vermin cited the weather as his problem and Max Melandri blamed some something …or someone…or lots of things and people.
Junk food
American cheese fritter
We have taken the finest American cheese and allowed it rest until it develops a distinct brown hue and putrid smell, then we deep fry it. Served with the 'excuse dip' of the day.
Nicky Hayden: Current MotoGP World Champion. Colin Edwards: Former Superbike World Champion. Kenny Roberts Junior: Former GP World Champion. There's bucket loads of talent there you'll all agree but sadly on the Cataluyna menu there were only 'pass the bucket' like performances.
After poor Colin had bigged himself up mid week it seemed almost inevitable that he'd fail worse than Pedrosa as a stand-up comedian. By being disappointing he didn't disappoint.
Off the Menu
Garlic snail and Chorizo Surprise.
The management regretfully announce that the Garlic Snail is unavailable today and the Chorizo has expired.
Finally it was bad luck for poor simple Toni Elias who not only brilliantly rides the crappiest Honda of all but found, whilst in a strong fifth, it is also the most unreliable too. Slow and unreliable? Is it a Honda or a Royal Enfield?
1. Casey Stoner AUS Ducati Marlboro Team (
2. Valentino Rossi ITA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 43min 16.976 secs
3. Dani Pedrosa SPA Repsol Honda Team (M) 43min 17.297 secs
4. John Hopkins USA Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
5. Randy de Puniet FRA Kawasaki Racing Team (
6. Loris Capirossi ITA Ducati Marlboro Team (
7. Chris Vermeulen AUS Rizla Suzuki MotoGP (
8. Alex Barros BRA Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
9. Marco Melandri ITA Gresini Honda (
10. Colin Edwards USA Fiat Yamaha Team (M) 43min 52.255 secs
11. Nicky Hayden USA Repsol Honda Team (M) 43min 53.208 secs
12. Makoto Tamada JPN Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 43min 55.627 secs
13. Alex Hofmann GER Pramac d'Antin MotoGP (
14. Sylvain Guintoli FRA Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 44min 1.306 secs
15. Shinya Nakano JPN Konica Minolta Honda (M) 44min 11.100 secs
16. Kenny Roberts USA Team Roberts (M) 44min 16.562 secs
17. Carlos Checa SPA Honda LCR (M) 44min 19.222 secs
18. Kurtis Roberts USA Team Roberts (M) 44min 20.229 secs
DNF:
Toni Elias SPA Gresini Honda (B)24min 23.184 secs (His crap Honda turned crappier)
DNS:
Olivier Jacque FRA Kawasaki Racing Team (
