Joined Jul 2006
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MotoGP race report - Valencia
WSB reject and a farmer take the glory..
Never has unbelievable been so dull. But who cares as the once water-shy pig-herder Nicky Hayden has silenced his critics and his blasphemous beanhole by taking the 2006 MotoGP championship crown in a race that left a lot of people thinking.
Now some say that Haystack didn't deserve the title. It's true that he only won two races - one on his farm and one at Assen when all his rivals were nursing ruptured gizzard valves. It's also true that the race winner Troy Bayliss has lead more laps in 2006 than Hayden - 30 to 29. It's also probably true that the yellow carcass of Rossi was actually the better the rider. But who cares? It was a great result and all worth it just to see Rossi's fat, blubbersome friend get blanked by the ex-Champ after the race. There were no over the top, self-important celebrations to be seen by oversized stunt double - just tears and full fat coffee. Never has one person been such a waste of not only good food but a full access paddock pass.
Now it's not that Hayden doesn't have an annoying entourage. At Valencia the full family Hayden were out and about chasing crows and proving that you don't need an education to be on TV. Heading and guiding the family, especially now the dog's ill, is father Earl - a man not opposed to the idea of Lording it up for his own smugness fix.
But the tightly interbred family Hayden, despite all, have nothing when it comes to kick-ability on Rossi's 'friend' - so seeing him weep as Hayden took the title has to be a good thing. Get in!
So what about the race? Now if you saw the race results but didn't see the race you'd be convinced it was an epic. On the other hand if you'd have seen the race you'd know different. Periodical reject Bayliss wins? A Ducati one-two? Rossi crashing out? How could that be boring?
Cast your mind back a season or two. Remember Bayliss?
At the end of the 2004 season Bayliss was hurled out of the Ducati tree on the grounds that he was rubbish and old. He was replaced by Checa - a rider who was also rubbish and old but crucially well sponsored - luckily Troy landed on an RCV in the HRC nest for 2005.
An even worse season followed as Bayliss, who had ridden Ducati's for many years, struggled to come to terms with a bike that wasn't held together with gaffer tape. At the end of the 2005 season HRC .... on him as part of the old-for-new cull and he was packed and crated up with his marsupial books and stuffed wazchozzer and shipped over to World Superbikes for all eternity. That was him gone for good.
But no. Despite being rubbish for two seasons in MotoGP Troy won the WSB crown on a Ducati and was given the dream opportunity to replace the injured haircut of Sete Gibbers in the final round. Bayliss accepted the opportunity, qualified second, and won the race from flag to flag. Unbelievable.
It's worth remembering two points. One, Bayliss had just one weekend to adapt to the Ducati and to the Bridgestone tyres. Being Australian change doesn't come naturally.
The second point regards Sete Gibernau. By replacing him, and then winning the race Troy actually managed to make a laughing stock out of Gibbers without the haircut-polluting Spaniard actually riding. An unbelievably amusing end to Sete's comedy career.
And so Bayliss won, Capirossi came second and Hayden third. For the entire race we were treated to an F1 style 'something could happen but probably won't' high-speed stalemate. Hayden, true to his mentor Alain Prost, decided not to race for the win but to instead settle for the points. A hero.
So what of Rossi? What of the clash that we thought we'd be talking about for the next 40 years?
Well for once, Rossi was rubbish. Despite starting from pole Rossi got his curls in a knot and made a trundlesome get away. For the following laps Rossi lost more places and looked more nervous and edgy than the time he was asked about girlfriends. Indeed Vermin, who was following Rossi, claimed after the race that Rossi's odour was worse than ever and that he struggled to keep his lager and grilled prawns down whilst in the Italian's tow.
On lap five Rossi went down. A Stoner-like lowside and a chance to see a rare mistake. In a yellow blur Rossi picked up his machine and rejoined the circuit in dead last position. What followed was the worst comeback fight of all time.
With Hayden in third Rossi needed to finish about eighth to claim the title, but for whatever reason the charge never materialised. Sure it took only a handful of laps to pass the 800cc nail of McCoy and then breeze past Ellison as the Englishman yelled "it's my passport's fault" from within his helmet. But that was about it. Not even the HRC hogging, honourably-crap Tamada could be caught. The only places Rossi gained thereafter were when other riders, like say Stoner, fell off.
And so that was it. Many fan had not slept the night before through the excitement and anticipation but happily caught up on the lost kippage during the race. It was every bit as poor as the BSB finale.
So who else was rubbish?
Casey Stoner was Casey Stoner and crashed as usual. The TV producer decided not to bother showing the crash as it was all too predictable. Now with Bayliss winning and Stoner falling…what are Ducati actually thinking?
After the Estoril race Colin Edwards claimed that he could have maybe won the race. He claimed that he wasn't too concerned though as he'd fixed all his issues with his bike and he'd have Valencia and next season to win. Colin finished ninth but more crucially has a 2007 contract.
WSB reject and a farmer take the glory..
Never has unbelievable been so dull. But who cares as the once water-shy pig-herder Nicky Hayden has silenced his critics and his blasphemous beanhole by taking the 2006 MotoGP championship crown in a race that left a lot of people thinking.
Now some say that Haystack didn't deserve the title. It's true that he only won two races - one on his farm and one at Assen when all his rivals were nursing ruptured gizzard valves. It's also true that the race winner Troy Bayliss has lead more laps in 2006 than Hayden - 30 to 29. It's also probably true that the yellow carcass of Rossi was actually the better the rider. But who cares? It was a great result and all worth it just to see Rossi's fat, blubbersome friend get blanked by the ex-Champ after the race. There were no over the top, self-important celebrations to be seen by oversized stunt double - just tears and full fat coffee. Never has one person been such a waste of not only good food but a full access paddock pass.
Now it's not that Hayden doesn't have an annoying entourage. At Valencia the full family Hayden were out and about chasing crows and proving that you don't need an education to be on TV. Heading and guiding the family, especially now the dog's ill, is father Earl - a man not opposed to the idea of Lording it up for his own smugness fix.
But the tightly interbred family Hayden, despite all, have nothing when it comes to kick-ability on Rossi's 'friend' - so seeing him weep as Hayden took the title has to be a good thing. Get in!
So what about the race? Now if you saw the race results but didn't see the race you'd be convinced it was an epic. On the other hand if you'd have seen the race you'd know different. Periodical reject Bayliss wins? A Ducati one-two? Rossi crashing out? How could that be boring?
Cast your mind back a season or two. Remember Bayliss?
At the end of the 2004 season Bayliss was hurled out of the Ducati tree on the grounds that he was rubbish and old. He was replaced by Checa - a rider who was also rubbish and old but crucially well sponsored - luckily Troy landed on an RCV in the HRC nest for 2005.
An even worse season followed as Bayliss, who had ridden Ducati's for many years, struggled to come to terms with a bike that wasn't held together with gaffer tape. At the end of the 2005 season HRC .... on him as part of the old-for-new cull and he was packed and crated up with his marsupial books and stuffed wazchozzer and shipped over to World Superbikes for all eternity. That was him gone for good.
But no. Despite being rubbish for two seasons in MotoGP Troy won the WSB crown on a Ducati and was given the dream opportunity to replace the injured haircut of Sete Gibbers in the final round. Bayliss accepted the opportunity, qualified second, and won the race from flag to flag. Unbelievable.
It's worth remembering two points. One, Bayliss had just one weekend to adapt to the Ducati and to the Bridgestone tyres. Being Australian change doesn't come naturally.
The second point regards Sete Gibernau. By replacing him, and then winning the race Troy actually managed to make a laughing stock out of Gibbers without the haircut-polluting Spaniard actually riding. An unbelievably amusing end to Sete's comedy career.
And so Bayliss won, Capirossi came second and Hayden third. For the entire race we were treated to an F1 style 'something could happen but probably won't' high-speed stalemate. Hayden, true to his mentor Alain Prost, decided not to race for the win but to instead settle for the points. A hero.
So what of Rossi? What of the clash that we thought we'd be talking about for the next 40 years?
Well for once, Rossi was rubbish. Despite starting from pole Rossi got his curls in a knot and made a trundlesome get away. For the following laps Rossi lost more places and looked more nervous and edgy than the time he was asked about girlfriends. Indeed Vermin, who was following Rossi, claimed after the race that Rossi's odour was worse than ever and that he struggled to keep his lager and grilled prawns down whilst in the Italian's tow.
On lap five Rossi went down. A Stoner-like lowside and a chance to see a rare mistake. In a yellow blur Rossi picked up his machine and rejoined the circuit in dead last position. What followed was the worst comeback fight of all time.
With Hayden in third Rossi needed to finish about eighth to claim the title, but for whatever reason the charge never materialised. Sure it took only a handful of laps to pass the 800cc nail of McCoy and then breeze past Ellison as the Englishman yelled "it's my passport's fault" from within his helmet. But that was about it. Not even the HRC hogging, honourably-crap Tamada could be caught. The only places Rossi gained thereafter were when other riders, like say Stoner, fell off.
And so that was it. Many fan had not slept the night before through the excitement and anticipation but happily caught up on the lost kippage during the race. It was every bit as poor as the BSB finale.
So who else was rubbish?
Casey Stoner was Casey Stoner and crashed as usual. The TV producer decided not to bother showing the crash as it was all too predictable. Now with Bayliss winning and Stoner falling…what are Ducati actually thinking?
After the Estoril race Colin Edwards claimed that he could have maybe won the race. He claimed that he wasn't too concerned though as he'd fixed all his issues with his bike and he'd have Valencia and next season to win. Colin finished ninth but more crucially has a 2007 contract.
