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February 16th, 2007, 07:53 AM   #1
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Hopkins falls, Pedrosa rises
Qatar test: day 3

Angro-American John 'Hooligan' Hopkins became the first real victim of HRC's 'safety' plans after a terrifying 120mph highside on day three of the Paris-Dakar MotoGP test.

For some daft reason Dorna bought into HRC's theory that higher corner speeds on bikes with peakier engines would help increase safety and that it had nothing to do with the fact smaller bikes would benefit their chosen child Pedrosa.

Hooligan's spill was the first real indication of what could, but hopefully won't, be the new kind of crash that made Garry McCoy the legend that he is in the many fractures clinics around the globe.

"I'm pretty angry to be honest" stated Hopkins whilst under heavy sedation "First I hear the terrible news about Ratsputin and now this. I need to take my anger out in a physical way, possibly on a monkey or even Earl Hayden".

Initially it looked as if Hopkins' crash had caused over half a million US dollar's worth of damage but after a comprehensive examination the great news was filtered back to Suzuki that none of John's teeth had been chipped in the fall.

Understandably Honda remained tight-lipped about John's 'safety spill' and just went about their business with the usual 'well you believed us' styled expression. However MGPN, who love a good probing, managed to dig a little deeper to unearth a few tasty noodles of truth.
Speaking from behind a dubiously stained clam-stall our secret insider let slip the mood. "There's a general attitude of smugness in here. It's like they've all got the Doohan gene. They can't really believe their luck that they managed to push the 800cc thing through the on grounds of safety. However there is still some concern that by having 18 months head start on everyone we should have gained a bigger unfair advantage. Rossi and Yamaha are far closer than we hoped. Still, wait 'till they see the new regulations we're developing!"

To make the Evil HQ even more smug Thumbelina's Celeron finally finished processing the data and output a stunning time on qualifiers to head, time-wise but never altitude-wise, the pack.

Even though the Hooligan threw himself straight into the 'smashed up' wing of the gold-plated Losal hospital in the morning his fastest lap set on sticky Bridgestone boots was good enough for second overall. This amazing performance strengthens Hoppers' belief that this year the Suzuki might not be rubbish.

Rossi finished third and probably said and did some stuff. Far more interestingly was Baron Von Hoffers on the d'Antin Ducati who finished an excellent fourth. The German, who most had openly accepted as being a bit rubbish, found inspiration from a heroic tale in his latest copy of 'Luftwaffe Now'. The Krautastic Hofmann then stunned everyone with his performance - not least the factory Ducati team to whom Hoffers guest rode for very badly on several occasions last season.

The other riders did other stuff, but after three straight days I'm fed up.

1. Dani Pedrosa SPA Repsol Honda Team (M) 1min 55.471 secs
2. John Hopkins USA Rizla Suzuki MotoGP ( 1min 55.825 secs
3. Valentino Rossi ITA Factory Yamaha Team (M) 1min 55.954 secs
4. Alex Hofmann GER Pramac d'Antin MotoGP ( 1min 56.315 secs
5. Colin Edwards USA Factory Yamaha Team (M) 1min 56.371 secs
6. Randy de Puniet FRA Kawasaki Racing Team ( 1min 56.753 secs
7. Loris Capirossi ITA Ducati Marlboro Team ( 1min 56.807 secs
8. Casey Stoner AUS Ducati Marlboro Team ( 1min 56.834 secs
9. Alex Barros BRA Pramac d'Antin MotoGP ( 1min 56.950 secs
10. Shinya Nakano JPN Konica Minolta Honda (M) 1min 56.980 secs
11. Marco Melandri ITA Gresini Honda ( 1min 56.980 secs
12. Makoto Tamada JPN Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 1min 57.232 secs
13. Toni Elias SPA Gresini Honda ( 1min 57.246 secs
14. Nicky Hayden USA Repsol Honda Team (M) 1min 57.269 secs
15. Chris Vermeulen AUS Rizla Suzuki MotoGP ( 1min 57.365 secs
16. Kenny Roberts USA Team Roberts (M) 1min 57.408 secs
17. Carlos Checa SPA Honda LCR (M) 1min 57.497 secs
18. Sylvain Guintoli FRA Dunlop Tech 3 Yamaha (D) 1min 58.379 secs
19. Shinichi Ito JPN Ducati TTT ( 1min 58.974 secs
20. Andrew Pitt AUS Ilmor GP (M) 2min 0.455 secs
21. Olivier Jacque FRA Kawasaki Racing Team ( 2min 2.081 secs
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February 16th, 2007, 07:57 AM   #2
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Yamahamer-AL @ Feb 16 2007, 11:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>I LOVE MOTOGPNEWS.COM!
really.... i never would of guessed!!!
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February 16th, 2007, 02:49 PM   #3
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Hayden says in his interview he had 2 crashes!?!??!
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February 17th, 2007, 12:59 PM   #4
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (frosty58 @ Feb 16 2007, 09:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>really.... i never would of guessed!!!

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February 17th, 2007, 01:53 PM   #5
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that great stuff
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February 17th, 2007, 01:55 PM   #6
che spettacolo
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joking aside - the 800's look as if they're going to be as mental as the old strokers - I can't wait !
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February 17th, 2007, 02:00 PM   #7
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (baldylocks @ Feb 17 2007, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotemain'>quality

joking aside - the 800's look as if they're going to be as mental as the old strokers - I can't wait !
i hope so andy ,that should sort the men from the boys
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February 17th, 2007, 03:22 PM   #8
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all i can say is...

its all good... apart from hayden crashing that is!
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February 18th, 2007, 12:18 PM   #9
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Are you sure he rises No i didn't mean that lol
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February 18th, 2007, 01:42 PM   #10
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Haha! A good read, cheers.
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