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July 1st, 2017, 12:07 AM   #121
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Originally Posted by Jumkie View Post
Mudstyle, you should bring back the awards show. I'd like to nominate Cunthole in the Gaslighting category: BEST WORK ETHIC. Credits include; talking shit about your employer's components, Tech3, quiting half-way into a contract (though let's face it, he quit way before the halfway point) and whining publicly in parc ferme to the cameras about testing duties for HRC, currently LCR.

Can I get a twofer? Another nomination, same category: MOST REFRESHINGLY GENUINE. Being an arrogant asshole is the new genuine. Speak your mind, say mean things, verbalize being an dickhead, we all want to do it, except we don't; because.... well, self-control (apparently not as praiseworthy as blurting our shit talk). When Buttflow raged at Pedrosa for 'crashing' (yeah... I know, right?) Crashy Cunt's "explained" it was because Pedro didnít come clean, who had his hands in the prayer position. Obviously, this confused Cuntslow, because he's an English bloke, and that seemingly immediate universally understood apologetic gesture was in Spanish. One might not fault Cunt for being confused, concussions I'm told, affect emotional composition, and let's face it, Crashloads has had a few alot. It's not like Honda are interested in constructors points, Pedro deserved being publicly disrespected after the emotions had calm down and Buttflow was asked about it on TV, way way after the incident. But regarding the award, when he was interviewed, it was all refreshingly genuine, saying he was glad Dani lost his 2nd in points championship position. Proof, that sulking your mind, and saying thee most inappropriate shitty thing is the new praiseworthy authenticity; we all should teach the youngsters. Honesty was on display, no, no, I assure you, Cuntslow didnít lie about Pedrosa's lack of regret for the crash, besides it should transcend being an asshole; Clown Cuntslow's initial displayed is acceptable. Honesty, despite lying, is honest lying. And that's the truth. Crashloads said he raged at Dani because Dani was not immediately apologetic. You see, Cuntslow is not some robotic PR machine. He tells it like it is, even when it's the most disingenuous thing to explain away your behavior to the cameras.

Actually, I need a threefer, yes, another nomination is in order to the gaslighting category. MOST COMEDIC THINGS SAID. It's almost a subset of Most Refreshingly Genuine, except when Comic Cuntshow says something mean spirited, the awkward moment in the room begs a contrived laugh by the audience, and tah dah...hilarious moment. Calling your more talented colleagues whimps is the new funny. Hahaha, geez, ....I needed to pause for a moment. Regain my composure, because....well, FUNNY!!! Crap Cuntslow is the Andy Kaufman of GP, though Crappie's jokes are far more complex. And...may I add, Kaufman's were funny when you got the joke. We would be hopelessly and erroneously thinking the shit Cunt says is arrogant if it wasn't for a bit of explanation, 'trust me'. The good news is that Clown Kuntslow has deployed a British contigent of experts in legendary British humor to assure us, those mean spirited arrogant verbal outbursts are in fact funny. So, hahaha lol, LOL, LMFAO!

Well, if the gaslighting category is not O'fool, may I take the liberty in one more nomination? MOST LIKED PADDICK LIKED POPULAR (it's like, Farcebook, we know you're liked because, well, there's no dislike button.) Hack Oxley and other Brits have assured us that Cueen Cuntwhore (not to be confused with attention whore) is popular because despite shit talking being a way to get everybody's attention, attention via being a loud obnoxious person = popularity. If we were to hold a popularity contest in the paddock, Cunt Mouthflow would win hands down; or...hands up, or hands flailing, as is his custom.

Oh wait, I need a fifer, that's right, a 5th nomination. Category: Gaslighting. MOST DETERMINED RIDER. Nobody crashes this much, Hack Oxley actually counted, and it turned out to be the MOST of anybody, though it's a testament to his determination; they don't call him The Groundhog for nothing. Like the movie, it's a recurring theme of crashdetermination crash determination crash determination repeat repeat repeat. And just like that, crashing, the new praiseworthy trait yo. It's important to note, as I'm sure you will include it in the award citation, that no other riders in GP, or any other form of professional motorsport gets up after a crash. That's unique determination Crashloads possess.

Oh wait, I'm being told he's not known as the Groundhog. Uhm, I know it was some kind of small vermin type animal. A mole perhaps, yes, I think so, it takes a lot to burrow through gravel like that. Oh wait, no, I think it was hedgehog, mowing down those hedges. Ah, I remember, the Moneybadger! Costing his employer money bags, obliterating liveries, destroying equipment, and annihilating leathers in the name of testing. Work ethic isn't cheap, but then again, neither is popularity.

I take it he's not on your Christmas card list then?
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July 1st, 2017, 07:34 AM   #122
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Originally Posted by AntG View Post
I take it he's not on your Christmas card list then?
He is on my Crashmash list.
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July 1st, 2017, 07:39 AM   #123
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Originally Posted by Jumkie View Post
He is on my Crashmash list.
Isn't he one of Santas reindeer? There's Dasher, Dancer Crasher and Vixen, Rudolph and a few others
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